All My Thoughts

All my thoughts

Please bear with me as I write

Because I had doubted – what it is that I am supposed to do – and that is to write – my thoughts for you

I can’t understand why I feel this way – just that I do –

And now through all my doubt – and still not believing in me - -

But I believe and could feel the love that words can give - - because if I didn’t - - -if I didn’t this great love from these words - -

These words I could not write - - and then I could not explain - -

But if it was for hate these words then that is easy to explain - - because that is where I came from - -

The hate of my father - -

Sealed by the hate of my mother - - to never be – to never see - --

That it is them that suffers - - with pain and misery - - not me.  

It is their pain and misery --- that they did to me - - to keep me from seeing - -

Me

But I am here to say - - if you feel - - then feel - -

What is it that is right for you?

 

And please be gentle on my spelling or sentences with improper grammar - - my spell check doesn’t fix it all - - -lol - - sorry - - but if you can laugh at how funny that sentence is  - - then laugh – that is what we need to do - - and when you laugh at me – then laugh at you when you made a mistake and was too afraid to say - -

Because we need to - - it is all our faults that make us - - but if we can see - - - that maybe some of our faults were never ours to bear - - but because our parents were weak and failed to protect us from harm – because if they meant to harm you 

Because the harm was from them first - -

Before anyone else could repeat - -

Don’t be so hard on yourself- - -

You only have you to save you - - for you to be you - -

Free

Free to see you as you want to see you!!

So powerful to love yourself

This is all that I am saying

Is to understand you –

And maybe then - -

You can understand me - - and see me - -

And we all can grow

Instead of staying in a world that is of only hate – not even yours

This is what I see – that can be a possibility!!!!!

 

 

 

 to understand all of this you might want to read how it all started. When I first started writing. I tried to bring over from my facebook page so you can read it. or go to my facebook page, Mothers Choice Foods.

and then come back to this spot where you stopped. Than kyou.

new thoughts added

 

I am trying to write in succession of what I learn for me and although sometimes it comes as a strange thought all wrapped in thoughts - - I am trying to write so you can understand - -

But I am feeling like that I am learning for me – and maybe this is all that it is - - maybe still for only me to see - - because I have to see first for me – to learn how to love me  - -to then share with all of you!! And if it isn’t for you to understand to learn too – then you won’t - - because you already know how to be happy with all of you – as one complete unit – as one complete soul to live and have lived - - in your perfect harmony, for only you to see --- it’s so amazing – to love yourself. And if you don’t want to see to understand maybe then you too have stopped and this really is for you to see - - believe me. Because if hate is that you see and you question why - - then hate is all that you don’t want to see!!!!!!

That’s why I didn’t understand when sean carroll – a quantum physicist said something – I felt that it was wrong – on this one point - - -and maybe then I thought - - maybe it does matter what I think - - because I think I see what he doesn’t - - and that’s why they can’t learn - - the next steps to their discovery - - because they don’t see - - but if I share - - maybe then they will see more of what it is that they are to know - - - but if we all don’t share our thoughts - - not greed. - - if we don’t share and learn what someone else knows – then how are we to know what we know????? Right - -spooky - lol to think of such wonderful ways to think in your own brain - -is that philosophy?? But I think we all need to learn a bit about this and that - - because if we never learn and only stay - - what if we have learned only wrong - - like what my parents did to me?? And if we are content to only believe that I am to be a whole for men - -because that is what my father made me to be and only see - - so how powerful do you think I know feel  - - because I learnt of his abuse - - to free me. - - how weak do you think he know feels when he can see - - -what it is that he took all from me. - - -power is within you - - it always has been - - but how you use it - - just like in everything we can be - - -that is how you will live and then remembered - -

Maybe this is easier for me to see - - because of all that was done unto me - - and I had to learn – from only hate - - how to have love - - how to have love for myself - -when that was never to be seen

So I share all of this - -

Thank you

Miss Kitty

 

Oct 31/21

Because I don’t know what I don’t know - - -

Because my parents kept it from me - - -

To see

To believe in me - - -

To see me

To feel me - - -

To live for me.

I could never feel – I was never told - - I was kept from being me - - -

So abused I could only be ( this is what one’s hate turns into – manipulation – but manipulation to the abuser as well to not be – is what I see) added after when transferring this to site

A slave for others (when you don’t want to do something – your voice in your mind – you – is telling you something isn’t right – but if you don’t believe in you that you are more than your abusers – how will you see to be more ---- do you see?) added after when transferring this to site

Of their pain

That they do not know why

They hurt and degrade me so –

But if they could see what I see -  know – -

They would never abuse their own souls-

Because it is them that can never be;

Because it is them that cannot see

Or if they do - - - - then that is what they chose to do - - - -

So then I see

As so do you know - - -

That if one abuses

That is what they want to do - - -

And now you decide ----

WHO IS YOU - -

 

 

And I mention sean carroll – a brilliant man is he

Please see some of his videos on you tube

And I am not dissing religion or any beliefs of another - - because one can’t - - that is what I feel that I know - -we need to learn and feel - - and I think we forget – to feel 

We are so busy not being – lol – our lives keep us from getting in touch with ourselves to see – because we can feel something isn’t right - - maybe we need to take a bit of time each day when we wake - - to focus on what we want for each of our days to be  - - how do we want this one day to unfold - - and then can focus on a lot more to see - - is this the life for me !!

 

 End thought

 

new thoughts added

(I was feeling of always not getting things done and I couldn’t understand why because I was always busy before – and it was making me feel so horrible about myself and keeping me from doing the things that I want to do - -I could see in my head what I want to do for me to be happy but then I would feel so awkward with myself as I couldn’t understand even though I was  - why was I being so hard on myself. - - maybe because that wasn’t me - - that was how I was manipulated to be. - - and that is not me - - not to want to change – I want to be better than those that abused me  - - I want to be me  (they say you can’t change - -yes you can - -it’s just your abuser that doesn’t want you too) see how powerful your mind can be - -if you set yourself free )) if you are afraid of change – then you can never be!! (get it.)

This top part was added after the rest of this

 

There is so much to do – things I want to get done, do

Don’t waste it sleeping – if you don’t need to –

Don’t spend so much time even doing sad things

Do things – do life

Live life

Don’t ever waste your life

Not doing it for you

End thought

How we treat others – does that effect everything??

How it comes back around – and you can see how they did it - - how they treated you - -what they had to do to you - - to make you not see - - that they took away your dignity – your face - - but when you can see – the bigger circle - - of not of just you - - then why would I want to harm you - - because I know what it does - - it is what you did to me - - to not be - -

But because I can see this - - I cannot be like you - -

To be less for me –

Then I am not living then for me!!

 

Why do we think we are not our own lights?

Why do we feel like that?

Is it, that those that have been abused

see to understand that?

Can feel that -

Or do wonder that?

If you have always felt love - - how can you even understand the question?

Because you have always had love

You have been Always told to love yourself - - And you can’t understand how it must feel to not feel love - - because you can’t understand - - because you have never had to felt - - unloved

Is that how come we can’t see each other?

How does one feel if they know they are a light?

how much more one can be – if they just believe in themselves.

Is that what I am learning? To see?

That others that already love themselves –

That they were taught this – and maybe because they see hate –

they use this against us so only they can exist –

but soon too – soon they won’t too

I understand this - -

So this can be used for good or for bad –

If you want to be a fcker – to pretend to those that you say that you love –

Because you can’t understand – what love is to feel for real by those that believe

In love to be –

To have love above hate –

So, if I want to use this for me what I am learning to be me - - to want to be

That is the choice that I am making –

To be Always –

See as how I want

Freedom from our abusers

So it is –

Because I can see how easy it is if I want to use this for bad –

If that’s what only I want to be to see

But I felt love once – true love from a stranger –( as we all are until we can see each other for who we really are ) added after

That I Always kept inside of me – to want to feel – to have

So I guess if all you hold onto is pain and misery – then that is all that you will be

 --------

IF I WANT GREAT THINGS TO HAPPEN 

THEN I HAVE TO DO GREAT THINGS

 ----------

Sometimes this stuff makes me cry but a happy cry –

Because it seems so simple

And I guess it is –

But I was never told how it can be – to love myself –

And now I am starting to see

To me - -

It seems like such an incredible thing to learn - -

Self – love if you have never had.

That I still can’t understand why anyone would only hate

And be incomplete

Because what I get to see now - -is everything only incredible

Because that is only what I want to see !!!!!!!

What more can I be?

What more can I see?

And I know if I live and hate is with me –

Then none of this incredible

I get to see

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  -

Just a lol - -

But I’m trying to write everything for you to see – because if it is just a process – to learn how to love yourself - - then I want everyone to

To love themselves too

When I have such a wonderful happy thought

I just turn up the music

And dance

But I don’t dance as if I am by myself - -

Because I am not - -

I have me

- - - - - - - - - - -

 

                 GET OUT FROM WHAT

                      CONFINES YOU

 -----------------

 

Otherwise are you living for you??

 

 -------------

      IF YOU CAN’T BE HAPPY WITH YOU

HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ANYONE ELSE TOO

 

 

You have to love yourself first so you can see – all that you didn’t

 --------------

 

           If you see yourself completely -

               The sum of all your parts -                                       

                                                 and what you see is you

                                                   might Always change

                                            but it will Always evolve as you

                                         if you allow yourself to Always see

                                                       All that You can be

                                                                              If I can be honest with me

                                                                                 Then I can let you see

 -------------

 

Always take time for yourself

Take time to reflect

On what you are learning for yourself to see

Because that is what is important –

For you to be

 

 

For me I see too - -

In how to reflect - -

Is to help others - -

That are wanting to be - -

To help see.

Maybe this is what I was meant to be

To help humanity

To Always be.

Because if you can’t have love for yourself

Then what is it that you love?

What is it that blinds you to not see

That you are to love you

This is what we all need to see –

Even me

Especially

If this is what I need to do

To love me is

Show you how to love you - -

Then I Always must see you

 

 -----------------------------

What is it that you want to do with your life?

What do you want in your life?

What do you want to see in your life?

Who do you want to share your life?

Who do you want to be in this life?

These are the only questions we can answer for ourselves – for ourselves to start to even be on our individual destiny’s

 

 

My road that wasn’t mine that I was forced to travel

Was because of my father

Because he didn’t love himself – only hate he gave

Only hate he showed me as the way

But he and others that abuse their children their born to never be

It is our fathers that forced us to take a road we didn’t even know we travelled – because our free will they took – when they abused us for their own thrill

Because that is all that it is to an abuser - -

Is what they can do – and not you

 

-----------------------

It’s because I am learning to see to have faith in me – because otherwise would to be only have fear –

Fear in me - - because that is what I was programmed to only see – manipulated and harmed by my father that should have never had me - - to wish to be born into a family of love - - is what I dream of.

 

To have fear –

Fear is of hate and hate for myself - -

I have not - - not anymore - - and less with each and every day - -

To undo the hate of my father

And to hope to undo the hate of yours too - -

To have free will to choose the life for me – that was meant to be

No matter what you think you can do to me - - I am stronger –

Because I can see now - -

That it is your shame - - not mine to bear - -

And that too was how you destroyed me –

But it destroyed you too – because if you see that you wanted to abuse me - -

Then I see soon you will never get to be - -

Because we are all learning - -

That it is you my abusive father - - who not to be

 

My father Iran Kachur

 

The sins of my father - - are not mine

And once you can learn to see this –

Because it is so important - - this is how you can

Start to love yourself - - because you see it was never your hate

Only his

Because you can see now with your own eyes

The life you want to lead to Always see

Is more than of just his hate of his neglect

And that a monster is he

 

And that it is not just me that has been abused

But it is me that will risk it all

Because abuse is not the way to see

 

 

 

So don’t be afraid to try something new - -it is the only way to get to learn you

And to be you

Become who you Always dreamed of!!

 

Why would you be afraid of you!!

Get it - - it’s all about self – love for you to see about you - - to then to get to be happy – with you

To tear away all the abuse that was done unto you

Because once you can master that - - - -- - then no master you have!!

You are the master of your own thoughts and free will

Because you stood up for yourself - -

That’s it - -

That’s all it took to start your own life – your own journey for you!!

So why be so unhappy?? Big smile!!

 

- - - - - - - - -

 

I am still learning so much I want to see

To feel as powerful as I can be

For each of us - -  to find our own destiny’s

How cool is that!!

 

- - - - - - - - -

 

You knew all the right words Dave,

You knew all your words

In what you did and how to say –

 How to you can abuse –

And no regret you face - -

Then this is you – of all hate.

At least we finally get to see

The real you Dave –

But only for this last second

In my journey

Before your darkness soon engulfs you –

And it is you that can’t see

Forever –

Stuck in your own history

Of abuse

And to abuse your whole family

And those next in line

To never be.

This is what an abuser does to your family.

They chose to be of their free will –

To take yours and mine-

Well, now just yours - -

I found my mine – I found the strength that I Always had

Inside of me - -

Because that was what you were trying to take from me

 

- - - - - - - - -

 

This is me know being Brave

As brave as I can be !!!!!!!!!!!

Because for me to write this and say

From my heart –

Then look at how Brave I can be

So that I am able to show to you

How Brave it is in you too!!!!!!

You just can’t see or forget too- right!!

If I can be this Brave for me to be Brave so

I can say these words for all to hear –

Then you tell me – I don’t have

Self-Love

Self-Confidence

--- maybe this is something that I am learning that you just haven’t - -

Like an electrician or whatever skill - -maybe that is how it can be looked at by those who

Do not have self-love or self-confidence - -

Because as anything else - - if you have never learned - -

Then how do you know - -

That this is what you need to know?!!!

But if you don’t have faith in yourself to take a chance on you

Then who do you expect to take that chance – if it is you that won’t first do?

 

Look at how they knew how to abuse me

It was learnt

It was the same but different - - if an ass you are an ass you will be - - educated or not –

It is the choice that you make - - that you will have to live with - -

Forever for you to see

What you did to your own family

And for what - - what really did you do –

Because a BIG MAN

Are not you—

But because you thought the weak could never see or say

Now look at what is your fate –

And look at what now is mine!!!!

And it is a WOMAN that you see

Of strength and Determination

To show what it is to be powerful - -

Is to let everyone see who it is that they can be - -

Because without this - -

We will never get to see the next idea of greatness for all –

Not just of those that steal it from us –

Manipulate us to not even see to be - -

Who in fck are you - -

Because it is not greatness I see –

Not in anyone that has to abuse another

That is weakness – not greatness

That is your fear – of those that have greed

Because they can’t see - - how far away they are

From themselves

-------------

 

and it is not to judge

because then nothing changes

 

------------

 

So be Brave - - - -

As Brave as you want to see

For you to be!!!!!!

A star in your own world

A star in your own light

A star that can now shine

Because it is you

The Brave Star

 

And we are all Brave Stars - - right !!

We are all individuals

But we can still help each other so that then –

Maybe it is how to see what is next – or again –

In our own journey’s !!! right!!!

Maybe this is what I have to do – to take this step – to be able to see what is next for me to do!!

But if I don’t ever believe in myself and take the first step that I need to for me---

Then how will I ever see what is next for me!!!!

Amazing!!

How will we ever get to know what we are supposed to – if we don’t have faith in ourselves to make those right choices for ourselves – to believe in ourselves to not to be afraid to not have fear - - because it is our own fear that keeps us from being all that we can!!!

Wow amazing!!

We have to help each other with this knowledge of ourselves – that we deserve to be happy – not only the elite - - the gifts of the world are for all to see – not those that keep all the secrets for their own greed - -because as I said – greed will not let you see - - you

Unless that is what you see ---

But remember - - now we know too – too stay away from you – and not to listen to you - -because you do not care about the well being of others - - only you you care about – and know so easy to pick out - -

If you are in control of others because of who you think you are - - I am here to say that is not power - - and what I am sharing - - is to give power to everyone that you abuse  - - because it is you that abuse - -and that you have no right - - to abuse my mind to manipulate life from me from anyone – just so you can still enslave all that you can - - my brain my mind my body – fck you for thinking you have that right to take away me – for greed – for something so unimportant - - because no one cares about you and you cannot see - - but you think you are so powerful - - but in fact --- it is you that is not - - you are just showing the world your fears - - greed

Knowledge is not to be kept – it is not of one person to have - -

Knowledge isn’t yours to keep – just like ME

 

--------------------

 Why ever be still in your own life!!

 How we must Always remember

              To Love ourselves

 

-------------------

Who knew it would be this much fun!!

Loving yourself!!!

To figure out all that I can be if I was given the chance – (by me)

So - -

When I saw it – even thou I didn’t really know what it all was right, remember I was never taught or told to love myself – I never knew what that meant what they feels like –

So when I saw it – my chance to change –

I grabbed it hard - - and that’s what I saw - -

Was me –

For the first time ever.

It was how I saw myself

And I saw

That I needed to love myself

 END THOUGHT

 nov2.21

 

This is not to judge – but to show - - because maybe it is that simple - -

That we just don’t see - - see how maybe it is you that is abused not just abusing all you now see

This is what the circle of abuse means –

And it is not for you to see – to understand - - -

Because then –

Your abusers cannot be - -

And you have set yourself free -----

Free to love yourself –

- to do something that they cannot

 

I see a whole generation of those of my father abusing all other men’s daughters –

Because they won’t stand up – for their own daughters – why –

What would make you not stand up for those you say you love??

I cannot understand that??

Unless it is you too that don’t love but abuse - -

And can hide even better - -

Then those that you learned how to abuse - -

Because now it is our lives that are not - - but so is even not theirs

This is what they don’t see - - as they destroy their own family, their own destiny

We should not feel alone - - especially in a world of how many-

To me that is so strange –

Because we need each other - -

We need to see each other - - other thoughts

Or this is how we never get to be - -

And only controlled

By those that don’t care if we ever get to see.

They think they can own our thoughts our brains our dreams

But they cannot not - -

Because all I see is then those that are afraid because they are so weak –

So weak in that they have to control every mind for their own -

But what do you have - - when my mind is my own - - -

 

If you are lonely and just need a friend - -

To talk to feel better about you –

To have a supper with so you don’t do it with just you –

Or to have a quick coffee and brighten your day –

To make you happy to have a new friend and to see –

How big the universe can really be!!

Once you feel that you can love yourself - -

The only one then stopping you –

IS YOU !!!!!!

For you to see that life is worth living –

If it is you that is living it !!!!!!

But please don’t lie to me - -

It is not me that you will hurt - -

Remember - - this is for your journey - - to see - -

I already see mine !!!

I have nothing to hide - - I am an open book - -

And that once you see that is how to be to live - -

Then that is all you can be - -

Is true to you to live!!!

So cool right!!!

 

 

So if men you see

And abuse like them you think you see

Happiness over others and only yours –

Which is what you can do - -

But remember - - - -

SO CAN I NOW DO !!!!

 I see you

I see how weak you are –

Do you see me?

How strong I am!

My love for me

Will grow

And you forever

Will stay

In your own hate

In your own fate.

 

 

Just because we have to live in this world –

Doesn’t mean that we can’t make it ours too!!

See

A piece of happiness for those that seek

To have a place to reflect

That is FREE

Lol – so cool !!

This is our world too – not just theirs – so how can you give up on you???

 

To see out own minds free from abuse free from another’s manipulation

Because I think it is so amazing what you have to tell yourself to stay

when you know you have to go to run

So what do you think will happen

When you feel yourself to love yourself and

Have respect for yourself –

Completeness !!

For You!!

And it was free –

Because it was Always inside you !!

Because it was Always in you !!

Because otherwise - - -- - -

You would not feel it want it –

To be more

For you to be!!

 

 

BE INQUISITIVE  - - - THAT IS YOUR RIGHT

 

 

Is this how we really need to be - -

To follow there rules that never help us to see?

To need to be on different levels inside our own communities??

That seems so wrong - -

That seems like that is what they need us to see –

To keep us from seeing that –

That is how I do not want to be!!

I don’t need your rules - -if they promote hate

Within my own community - -

Because

Why do we only have to live by those rules - -

And not you my abuser???

I see you

I see you trying to own me

 

Help your community

It is your community

Be part of it

Remember –

That is what they want –

You to see what they want you to be –

If helping out your neighbor is what will make you feel better about you

Then do it - -

And soon you will see –

It is not just you - -

There will be many with you - -

You have to start for you - -

And then others can see - - how you are to be!!

 

And it doesn’t have to be much - -any help will do

Because every time you help - - it is you helping you!!

 

For me –

I can help those with less than me - -

To feel better – because it is their life too

That deserves them to see - -as we all have that same right

Because if you think you do –

Have that right to be - -

Then you must see –

So does everyone around you !!

 

--you can send a message through my site and I can pick up items and give

directly to those that need - -not to organizations that do no good – only to pretend –

Because these organizations have been around for such a long time already - -what do you see that they have done for everyone? I see that they protect only them in their greed - -

Life cannot be with greed – this is what I see

Because then - -it is not your life you lead

Because of a country we live in - -of such respect - -yet look at all the disrespect

 

 

Maybe I am so different – so strange in wanting to Always be

Just me

Because I finally get to be me – to see me –

That I can’t understand why you wouldn’t – why you wouldn’t stand for yourself?

Because ----what else is there that is the most important thing for you do???

What – abuse those around you? Please, that’s so prehistoric – lol - -we should have learned more already - - as humans - - as humanity - -

that just goes to show - - how many are afraid to stand up for themselves but as I see  - - what do you have to lose?? They have taken the most important thing already from you - - YOU

My body my brain my thoughts

And if I am so different –

Then I must learn to be more Brave

For me to be

For you to see

How much better your life can be

For you – if you want it too.

 

 


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