All My Thoughts - Dec 02.21

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dear abuser;

What you do for only you to live . . . . .

Then only you get to see as you live . . .

Then do you live?

If nobody sees????

you abuse to not live

even of you;

 

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I can grow and become more ; ; ;

What the fck is your excuse

with all your

benefits

you have over me

 

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Are you human or are you not

Maybe that is the only question left to bother to ask

 

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If all you want is war . . . . .

If all you want is

If all you want is love . . . . .

If all you want is

If all you want is

If all you want is

If all you want is

If all you want is

If all you want is

If all you want is to be more  . . . .

If all you want is

If all you want is

If all you want is

If all you want is

If all you want is

If all you want is

If all you want is

If all you want is

If you want to evolve . . . . .

Do you think it will come from war

From where we started

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I need to feel that I have to give up . . . . . . .

That is your abuse still on me

That is why I feel that

When I do not want to .

It is still you trying to harm me

To be less like you  - - -

Maybe everything is a test in a way

Because you always have to make a choice

And it is you that has to decide  - - -

Even when you are not you and the decisions are made for you

They are still decisions made that effect you

To be less

Look at all you had to do to me dave to make me not see me - - -

And now it is me that does not want to see you

For there is nothing to see in you

 

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if all I have is me

Why would I want to be less

-for me

 

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I’m trying to be more- than what I am only

 

 

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The greater fear - - -

Is When You Don’t LOVE YOURSELF

 

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Should one ever feel sad?? Really??

Should one ever have that emotion? Or is it like fear

You were taught to be less

 

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Re-train your brain to never be sad

I can show you how

Learn how to love you

I would be honored to help

- -  --  --

Why should I be sad anymore

It is you that wants me to be

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Re-train your brain how to be happy with you

I can show you how

Learn how to love you

I would be grateful to help you

And what I mean by that is

Grateful that I can believe so very much in myself now

That I can even understand already

That it is about helping - - - -

Because it helps you

(and not a negative way, I mean not like spite or whatever  - -

For me to help you then helps me to always be to see that I want to always be happy and

remember to always see me and to never abuse  ; ; ; because I know what it can do

I know what it takes –

 

And to be from nothing but hate - - -

Even I can learn to understand what love really is and to want - - -

It is to want for yourself as first - - and then to love others and then everyone- -

And if I can understand how powerful it is to abuse and manipulate and I am dumb- -

What can I learn to become great ; ; ;

And great for me would be helping everyone

 

It is so weird yet it just makes so much sense - - - is this me still behind everyone that knows - -

Why do I feel that is so - - -

Like I missed a point or forgot what I learned- - -

Because it is always hard to remember - - -

What really matters - - -

And what I mean is - - - -

Because as in time as time does flow - - - -

We do then change as we grow - - - -

So do I still want to do this or have I changed all over again

In who I am trying to learn to be???? and I have to remember as you forgot my abuser- -

Not to focus on only one possibility - - -

Right  - --

That seems important - --  to feel - - to understand - -

I guess to understand maybe what the possibilities now that , that can mean now as before then - -

Because understanding all the possibilities --  - still means then if I even figure out what this world is - - -there is still more to learn and to know - -

So don’t stop thinking - -

Just like those with only abuse in their brains - - -

Can’t see all the possibilities of how even more to be - -

Because now are stuck in your own circle that you can’t get out of - - -

Ahhhh - -

The circles of abuse - - - just goes round and round - - - -

And know nobody knows - - - -

Round and round nobody stops - - - - -

 

If I can be this strong as to say these words and know that I still might be all alone and in thought - - -but at least I know that I took that chance to be real rather than no chance at all to be not

 

The possibilities of the brain - - - that is what this is - - - when you realize that you are unique in thought - - and what that means is - - 

Nobody in the whole world can think like you - - - nobody - - -

Let that sink in – lol – lol - - - because it should be a brain fart !!!!!

No one can think and use your brain and have your thoughts and your dreams and your wants to be happy - - not 100%

So how can anyone know what you think?? Lol - - k=lol-

Like

We always say - -

Don’t you know what I am thinking?

Don’t you know what I am saying ?

Don’t you understand me?

Lol – lol

Well - - maybe not – lol - - lol- - too funny right !!!

But break it down and simply it - - - -

If no one can think as to you and you can not totally know for sure of what someone else is thinking - - -

 

; ; ; ; we knew that - - and yet we didn‘t know - -

 

-To know how to understand that - - - what those words meant - -

Because we didn’t know - - -because you didn’t see it my way - - lol – brain fart - -

 

But to say to someone as me - - as when I was born and through my whole life - - that the words I would ever say would not be important - - I was always made to feel less – to feel nothing to become to only want to be only nothing - - - - - - - - -- - - and so know to say - - hey fck you - - -I respect me !!!!! to me - - - is the most amazing gift I could have ever given me to feel !!!!!!

 

To not be loved - - - but it’s not just that - - - it is to be lied to and said that you was - - - and then programmed and trained to live a life of waste - - - because I was a girl, the first for my father and all he could see for me was never me - - - -

 

 

 . . maybe too the questions are just for me as so are the answers - -

Brain fart - lol

 

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Be happy with you always - - - there is no reason to be sad - - - you have to protect you most of all - -

And that means to be just always be happy with what you do and in how you do it - - - so when you look at you - - - you don’t have to lie  - - - - -because that is what it is about - - - the lies the wrong choices for yourself – every time you are unhappy because you were made to feel bad - - all those little wrong decisions and choices to not even say - - that is when you have to start to ask as when you would never before - - - - - why do I feel so unhappy??

And I would bet - - - we have all had this thought - - -this one thought for the whole world to have - - - were as we are all individuals to think and to feel - - - - and this one thought - - - - - keeps us from that

 

Get it!!!! – double super cool meaning!!!! - - -I sure like when it does that!!!! - - lol – well for me it is super cool - -lol

 

-because I am still learning and I want to learn more and to think without restraints is what I would like –

 

- - what then can we dream when we now know that an apple can be an orange

 

Brain fart Super fly kitty style !!! shoot I hope I am not the only one that thinks that is super cool - - lol brain fart - - lol

 

I am sorry!!! - lol- I just can’t get over how when you start to think of yourself as to what we all are biology wise – this connected to this and this - - and we are made up of water and this and this - - and we are energy moving throughout our day with gravity holding us down to the ground - - - and when we move about we force energy to move around us ;physics – everything is made up of cells -  molecules  - energy is what we use as we move - - then we eat – lol - - - -  so if energy is energy - - can it be more? Or is it already – as energy ? as energy is energy and is itself and it is always more at the same time because it is energy and energy can only be and is not less but can be more if you see it and understand it to be more and not less for you - - -because maybe that is what we do when we hate - - we can’t see this - - because we are now consumed with hate - - and even if a little it changed your energy flow from not having to now having- - what does that do to your soul? If you have one or have not - - -but I would like to believe we do - - - but maybe our soul is not what  we have been told or not the whole truth- - - right - - fckrs - - - - - but if we feel that we have a soul and that is the possibility that we want - - - right - - -then you will believe that you have a soul and those who don’t just don’t - - - - -  just don’t have that possibility - - that is all - - and that is all that means- - - it is not to cause hate to because they do not see things the way you do - - -because nobody can !!!! right - - -when you remember that - - - - how can you be racist or hate?????????? It is what we have been told that is wrong to make us not remember to think and feel with our hearts - - - and our hearts are first in our own brains - - - when we have free will to think with our own minds to have our own thoughts that is when we use our hearts  - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - -  -

-“ if I can think it does it make it real “theory - - -lol - - lol - - right - - when you start to believe in yourself - - - that is what then you start to feel!!!! Lol - - it’s super cool - - because it is like you are so super happy with just a thought –lol- lol- but then you realize - - - - now thoughts can become true - - because I believe in me - - - - - in my thoughts in me - - - and as you to you - - - !!!!! when you give up hate and greed like cigarette smoking or drinking alcohol – lol - - and you fill your head with better thoughts just for yourself to feel and to make yourself happy by - - - -it is so super cool - - and I would never have believed - - - - one could be so happy with themselves , if they only believed in themselves - - it is so cool !!!  but maybe just for me still - - - but I don’t understand why don’t those that know this already- - why you don’t share this - - -oh - - I guess I answered my own question

 

 

- it just feels so cool to think of and to be able to even think of to have wonderful  thoughts of such things to think of - - lol - - because I hope what I am hoping is that I am learning and growing and to learn more what I can do with ME !!!  

And it gets so hard sometimes –to stop being so hard on yourself  - but then I remember - - - look where I once never was

 

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The greater fear

To not love yourself


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