All My Thoughts - Dec 09.21

What is it that we are looking at - - when we are looking?

If the world is a blank sheet when we are born - - as they say as to that is our brains - - as never explored - - -

And we are then have to be taught - - all it is that we know - - - or what it is that we are only told - - - because that is too what it is - - - what you only know - -

And then to that is how you exist ; ; ;

Because we know we have basic rudimentary functions – such as the need for breathing and for eating and then digestive is automatic - - our organs will function as they are meant to function - - without our interaction - - to knowingly have to say to yourself – now it is time you have to breathe  . . . . and then out  . . . and then do it again . . . now again . . . . . . .

These thoughts we don’t even have to have - - they are voluntary - - our bodies know what to do - - - -

So then, what is the job of the brain?

If it is a blank sheet as everything and everything - - - is all new - - -and we really on what we are told to then made sense of all the energy that is around us - - - - -

But then at the same time - - -we are never told - - - - what that energy is - - -

That it is us - - -

Fckers of greed - - because they think they have all the answers just because they can think of how to destroy us - -

So, then, we are all programmed from how far back - - to not see - - to forget - - - that our brains and our minds is what is important to see - - - and to then to see how to understand - - -

Because this shit world is not what I want - - and now I hope that I am learning in ho to see- - - to get beyond - - the one narrow view that you only have for you - - that you only want for me- - -

But it is me that sees - - - not in one narrow minded view - - of what only things can be and maybe are – and of the possibilities - - to try and figure out then - - -how we can get to not only dream - - -but to make dreams real - - -in my possibility for me in my worlds and then to yours as to how it is that we are really connected - - - it is not by greed

It is by thinking of more than just yourself - -

And understanding that

If my brain and my mind are unique to me and then so are my thoughts - - - then that of course means and by default - - -because if you can control my world away from me, dave, , this is what you can’t see and figure out

I then can do the same - - - once I figure it out and when I learn more for me and not for me to be afraid , even if I think I don’t want to see or won’t be able to handle it - -- because look already - - how much I can overcome and still want to learn - - more about me - -

And to learn more about me - - without having to be less - - without ever wanting only one thing for me - - another human’s hate

Because , is that what it is, when you give up on you - - is that when you then give up on your thoughts and your dreams for you too

Because to have hate when you had no one for yourself before - - -and to now do - - doesn’t that mean then that you gave up on you??

All these lies of generations before us - - -and then they have the nerve to tell us - - anything at all

My world is not for your world to control - - I want the secrets of life too- - not just for the top 5% - who doesn’t know only shit - - - only greed and how to keep us all stuck in the same place, and that includes them and that is what they do not see, their blind biases looking back at them to no possibility to see or to view.

Because to be born as we are – we already have different brains - -they are not comprised exactly the same - - yet we are all told when we are born - - that there is only one way to live - - -

But then, if educated you become, or becoming, , you ten learn all of this as new - - but as already known by someone and of others - - -

So then back to the beginning thought - - -

Who said it had to be this shit reality of yours of only greed to be and to be only yours to see - - as all our realities - - when you break it down and simply it - - - there is no way then that the world can be this way - - only one view - - or to only last for so long - - I guess - - until you learn for you - - but then yet too- -

All the damage has already been done and I suppose that they mean too - - to do this to all that is born - - is to take away your free will - - right at birth- - -

That is something more dangerous that you did to me - - more than even what my father could do and is to only be - -

Because - - you - - as I now can see- - are the first to abuse the world of this to not see- -

This is how a world of slaves began - - thanks to the queen for not envisioning her world above her abusers too - - her father and then before - - all the same - - -and it could have been you my queen to change all the lands - - for everyone to be free - -

And you thought your father’s greed was all you needed to see - - - look how your own training into who you are - - - was not complete - -

Because if it was - - - remember - - what was the first thing that you really learned , for you , , , was that there are always more than one possibility to life - - -

And you forgot - - that means - - that just because you think this is the best possibility for you - - -but remember - - it is not - - -because as in life with more possibilities than just one - - - that means that there are more possibilities now that are even better - - even better than this one and for you!!

Your knowledge is not complete and will not get to be - - if you have hate and greed - - -because hate and greed can only be hate and greed and soon you won’t be able to see nothing else but hate and greed - - even over for you to see - - - because – remember - - hate and greed doesn’t care who you are - - as long as you have it - - and more of it - - and then soon - - that is all that you can see and then goes away your dreams for your life because now it is of hate’s and greed’s. because to only view as of only one to view - - -that is when you should remember your rules that you had for you to not be fooled. Because the power of abuse and manipulation is to not see - - - do you see??? Right ?? fckers and assholes is all that you became - -

Don’t you see - - what information did you really learn about you - - and to what ALLLLLL that you can do - - - because we have been in this same whit now for sooooooo fckin longggggggg- -

Enough of your shit reality - - because it is now of one to never be again - -

Because now , as I know and others, how dare you control my world just so yours only benefits –

Just a higher level of abuse than what dave did to me - -

Remember same for him and for whoever - - if this is all that you can think only of to to want to only see and only be???? really???? With all the possibilities of desire and to dream - - really ???

Don’t you think that in itself  - is kinda pathetic - - your shit and abuse back onto you - -

My brain is more powerful than you thought - - - because you never thought - - it would be me

To be able to learn and to think - - and to get strong and to say - - fck you and your abuse over me - -  your fckin greed is yours and not mine - - your fckin hate is yours and not mine - - - and want my brain and my mind and my body - - to learn for me - - to see and dream of a life and more possibilities than just your shit - - . Stay in shit if you prefer - - because if you abuse - - and you think you are living and not me - - - - it is you that is stuck to only repeat - -

And this could still be all me just still trying to heal from all of dave’s and my father’s abuse to me - - and that is a possibility - - and is only but one - -

Pretend your life is on stage and that it is your life that is on stage!!!

Lol – understand how the words are said - - lol - -super cool right - - or again, just I think so - - lol

Still smiles either way - - because I love me now - - and I see what and why I have to feel shame or guilt or to give up on me - - because that is what you need me to feel - - but not me - -

Is this what Princess Diane knew - - and why she felt so torn - - because to say something for sure would then mean the end for her to see what is most valuable to her to see and to love - - but because she wouldn’t toe the line - - she helped those that were worst of all - - that we the worst ones abused by the queen and she new . . .

Double meanings into the words - - -make or I hope - -for you to see - - even more than one view, in just words

greed is not an emotion or a feeling - - greed is only contempt - - of those that have it

lol- see – double meaning shit - - depends on how you see the words as what they will then say for you to hear - -

one might think contempt for themselves as those that have greed - - -or one can think contempt for those that are below those that do not have greed  - - - either way and if all of others as well - - of other possibilities - - just ask yourself - - -  that the only view that you want to see and for you to then only be?? to me, it is not about how tough and strong you are that you can abuse better than whoever else - - -that is the world that you can only see - - -so of course that is what you will and can only see - - - because if you understood and at which one point you did - - -that is why you can’t understand now the feelings that are inside you - - because that is told what not you would feel - - only to those you abuse - - - now your circle - - back to you - -

and mine - - with love for myself and not hate - - I can only then get love back and then more – and then more as I learn - - how to have more

to me, hating and hurting - - what a waste of time - - and time that no one has to waste - - because once you can start to see - - that is it your life that is being wasted - - - I don’t want to waste any more of mine - - it is not to waste - - -

but , I hope that this what I figured out so far and that this is now part of my journey - - to say and to record - - how I felt and to how now I feel !!! just because I took the time and the strength that I always had inside of me - - to do so

and that is all that I am trying to show - - your inner love for yourself - - you have to see first - - before you can even then love back to yourself !!!

lol - -see super cool !!! how thoughts can be so super cool to think of!!

But this is now - - the other half of the battle - - to always now remember this and to remember for me and for each of us - - - to be happy

because greed - - can’t be - - where it can’t find a place

reverse abuse - - and take control of you - -and see what you can then do - - with your own life!!!

To me, it just seems then, there is more than we can do - - why have we been told otherwise? Just as my father thought he was so smug - - and abusing his own children - - fckn loser - - that he knew that he could control parts of me to not be - - -so then - - -what do other abusers that are more smug and fcked in the head- - what is it they would do - - to keep me from learning more ablout me - - and about my rights - - to my own life - - as it exists as the same as theirs - - as the ones of the 5% - - - because , now I see, , the world is equal - - there is no 5% - - - only me at 100%, is where I want to get to be - - - and that is my right - - as a human, not a slave no more to those with greed

I have equal rights to view and see the world as we all live in - - as that I am part of it and not only you.




So then you have to learn to understand that maybe the things that I do really just want - - are only things that I just do - - so then - - how is it that we all get along?? Oh yeh - - -because we all don’t realize that we all do , by means of keeping us to not know about ourselves and to love ourselves - - also teaches us to not see above and beyond what we are not supposed to and to not question or to not understand - - and just say because, that is always how it has been done

Fck that shit - -

And I suppose that is good for the ones that think they are in control of all of us - - -but – if you are remembering - - control anymore you do not even have - - look at the shit you still see and have to - - because you learned nothing for you in your life - - except for that one narrow view . . .

Do I have to say it all over again?

I will if I have to- but just remember - - one view equals still only one view of how things, how your life could have also went, but you were to afraid - - so you stayed , even when you didn’t want to , and now you – are the same as me - - as the ones that you harmed to make you in the first place – to be not

If you hate -  that is all that you expect and will get back - - and in all possibilities - - where that is all that you want for yourself to just do, and to just learn, and to just experience, and to . . . . .


-- -- --


And then so what - - so now what? What does next now happen?

What is it that I still don’t understand and need to see - - because I want to see more than just this shit - - that you call my reality - - - but it is yours and only yours that I still see - - -

How do I get past - - the past - - and for me - - ( and everyone for themselves too, individually and together as one ) - - - because if I can teach myself how to love myself even though that is what all of you cannot have – and for me to do - - because that is when - - you are no longer - - in my life!! An I am free of all that you only wanted me to see - - -

Ahhh- - this is still your shit that I am still seeing - - ahhhh- - because I think it is me that is thinking this shit - - - but that is where I came from - - my past or I should say your past not mine - - because mine was kept from mine - - and so I think that your shit world that is still programmed for me to still believe that I am in - - but am looking in from the inside – you think , that is what one would think - - but it I not - - it is reverse - - -I am looking on what my only world was and now I am supposed to be seeing me now - - on the outside - - as learned - -as with more knowledge and of understanding - -

Of how much more that there is now - - to even what a single possibility can even mean - - - and to me – and to know - - that even all of this - - is again only a possibility and is not definite - - and is not the real one - - because - - maybe that is where I am at - - is how to get to just one ; ; how do you decide – if that is what we are doing - - is then deciding on what realm - - this is in and then act according - - - but then - - isn’t it still the same one??? !!!!!!! right

Brain fart – lol - - !!

But yet still what does that then mean?? Because my brain has been told and programmed only to not be aware - - and so when is learning – and I guess on their own and trying to figure out - - what all that I can truly be - - - and what else has been taking away from me to not see - - because of someone else’s hate that they have for me. How do you even then know what is real and then what is not? How do you know then really what realm you are in is the same as another is in? right – this now is a possibility - -

If you can think it – does it make it real ? remember my thought

Because how far do we really know we can go - - because - - hello - - if there is already hate and you think it is just for me - - hello - - wrong - - it is for you too- - so - - why would you believe another that acts just like you to tell you what only you can do? and with rights to your brain

See, you think you are so smart when you abuse that another can’t see - - okay- - how does it feel now


And I don’t understand why I can think like this and in this way - - because I am sure , all that I was supposed to ever feel in my life even if I did feel to know - - was to only then act like you and do you now in my life - - - and for me to want more for me - - even if it is this strange odd whatever this is - - lol - - but I just don’t want to be a slave to anyone else - - you do not have my consent, it would be against my free will.

And, how do you get to 100% of your brain in your life – as seeing it is you that is actually in charge of it  

Why do you only think you get to learn about me?


One thing to take from all of this - - is that if you are sad - - why would you want to be?? with your only one shot one chance - - at life!!! Remember that thought - - and remember it when you have forgot


Or then tell me then why I can live and not be able to, - - to live my own life

Why do I have to feel worth less - - when that is not what I think of me to feel - - so then why - - do I still see - - only your shit land - -  - shit - - did I forget – already? The lesson that I learned - - ? no, I think it  is to now feel – and maybe see - - that is what we all feel and only understand - - but only in the words that we can hear as we have been told as how to not view - -

We are all abused - - to one degree to another - - but that isn’t what matters - -

Can’t waste more time on hashing shit out and all still mad and complaining - - everyone is still wasting time - - and now they are wasting their own by doing that to themselves now - - wasting time that they now know -  that they should never - - -

What only matters now in a world that is to progress- - the next steps to learn of course - - is how to be more than your greed only itself !!to have all the minds in the world to be all thinking and creating of more possibilities on how to live more for everyone and everyone individually - - because - - you think that doesn’t make sense - -- to think of your self only and then to think of others - - but it is not and you are acting in reverse - - remember - - you are abusing and being abused - - all at the same time - - that is our worlds of world - - our circle - - maybe that we are all trapped in - - -because no one knows anymore - - how to even honestly - - say - - they love themselves as a whole

Because to then also change how you feel inside of you - - just with warm thoughts of more and more that includes you - - you learn and can see - - just even with the little I have learned and wanting to learn more - - -is that I am thank ful to see - - I can have a life for me - - that will include me - - and be more than just being a dog with a hole to fck.and to see, that with all of your hate and your greed - - all I see - - is never you - -

So if you have to hide in all your shame in all that you do to others to harm so they do not live and either do you

Hiding in your own world for you to not see - -means the same you did to me to not be to not see me in my world to be

See - - you to do not exist

And now we all have our own shame and our own greeds - - but only if you keep it - - is it yours to only have

Double meaning

What if there is more to life - - and it is those that know - - that are keeping it from us

But see - - then back to these thoughts are then is what sucks you back in - - -to want to think less and to think as them - - - it is so easy to not change


-- -- --


So is different realities - -just different choices ? that we made or didn’t make ?? then isn’t that just life? Why does it feel not? Or not only and just part. . .  

Ahhh - - because that is what we all got and have had and did have - - but our parents or those that were guiding us to know what we know - - to start how to learn - - about things and about life - - -

Didn’t know themselves what they didn’t even do - - and that was to live their lives . . . they never knew - - they only saw one view - -

And this is how far my family and family tree and generation past - - is maybe behind - -the rest of you that already know and have a view - -

Maybe I am a bit scared still - - and afraid to see to understand - - what that means then next to see what others already do – and did nothing to change the world that they still viewed as less than theirs- get it - - assholes then all are before me ?? is that what I have to understand??? Because I don’t understand why the world is this way and to only abuse, it just seems like such a waste - - of everyone’s skills that they could have done to learn more about what is next for you and me - - not; what is next not want to only live to

I guess then I have to fill my heart with more love for me - - and even if for just me - - because - - I want to be happy - - even if - - just for me


why do I need your filthy dollar to see me – that is how you see you


-- -- --


or maybe I am trying to understand - - how my own father could have me to only not love me and to actually cause harm onto me - - onto my whole life - -  , , because he saw me and saw no value – no thought to think of

which became my only value to others that saw I had been given none of


and then that is the world then ? - - -

assholes all before me

and if I don’t say like I want to and need to - - this is maybe then how I get to exist – in a world that doesn’t want me

worry about what you can do –lol-!!

Is there more we can do with our minds then to heal ourself with? To learn to love yourself - - is that not just the first step ? and then to what? What is the more to know

For that 100% feeling  , of knowing  , 100%


Your just a loser when finally someone will say , and stand up against the shit that comes out of your mouth , and say - - what it is that you did - - and against my right - - - against my will - - for you to manipulate my life

Because now I still either way - - get to feel better and for me - -

Is this a rule that has to be learned - - to that you always see - - to live for you to be - - and especially when it is against you that is not the want to see - - -

So then – wouldn’t we be always fighting then??? Ahhhh - - -  you are - - - in your world of shit - - -

Maybe we do have to influence each other’s lives - - by just by being in them !!! lol so super fly thought !! lol super cool brain farts lol - -

But we can also do it for good - -

Why are good always afraid to stand up - - to stand up for yourself to not follow the pack - -

because , really , that is all that you are doing - - when you have only another’s hate to only see in front of - - - you can’t see this to understand this  and for what this is - - it is for your life and to live yours !!! not to only breathe - - in your one shot your one chance - - at your life to live - - -

be seen, be heard, be part of your world - - but be the part that you want to see - - when it comes back at you to relive - - the curse or blessing of a circles own blessing or curse - - depends on which words you wanted to be said or to be heard - -

to which is what you will not see - - what you do to me - - you do to yourself first - - to hate me - - means to let hate in to hate you for thinking you are not worth me , for me to see you as you are and as you is - - so then life for both of us , can grow - - and then becomes more than what it did - - as it does now for me at least - - I feel that for me to want to learn how to be more - - is the path I would like to take - -

only one view - - is never good enough

Why are good always afraid to stand up - - to stand up for yourself to not follow the pack - -

Maybe we have been told to only be afraid - - and look how just in that - - you stay

And I think we all have been abused by those before us to harm us and still do - - -

If you say because your money makes you better than me to have the say in my own life - - -then fck you - - it is you that can’t think of one of your own thoughts - - -

Hello - -remember - - if you remembered your own rule and to what you learn when you discover how to love yourself - - - - that only one possibility to think of in only terms- - - means then you have no view

And that is what you are doing , you abusers , for not seeing your own rule - - you are now abused by your own rule - - -

And now, who is stupider - - lol-

Remember to laugh and to smile -because it doesn’t matter as to the shame - only if you want to keep it

And that alone then changes your world and to now have more than even just one – possibility !!

What if mine can help you to see you - - and to see you in yours - - what then - - I wonder - - then what then does that give the world –if everyone can see themselves as possibilities rather than only dollars  - -as a great new possibility that now the world can now offer !!!!!!!!!!!

See, it depends on how you want to dream, , small - - or to always dream of more and more for than just for me - - because for me - - if my life is better - - why wouldn’t I want those around me then not to be as well????? Otherwise - - back to square one - - fckin letting greed in again to just let it out  - - -lol - -fckin greed and hate - - so easy to let in - - and like a bad house guest - - to never to want to leave  - - but look at it like this as well - - it is you that is the bad house guest that is in your own house  - it is you with the greed – the bad house guest in and of itself

whatever you think of your reasons as your right to abuse another - - you have not - - but you only will see that - - if you only see that your life has no value to only be that

I see more – for you and for me – I guess – I can believe - - because that is still what I want - to dream of – is for you and for me

I guess I don’t understand - - how you cannot do that and for me

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