All My Thoughts - Dec 10.21

If all you want to do is abuse -

how can you be sure - you are not of your own


that must be why you always feel alone - - because you are  - - same as you made me feel but different but the same ;

and no one living lives ; ; only lies

-- -- -- 

Is this what I am doing? - 

By fighting to belong in this world-

Even if I don't understand it - 

and not yet.

But I know I still have to be seen-

to belong -

But not only that - 

To now see - - - 

that my world, my wants , are now 

Equivalent to yours my abusers ; ;

otherwise ; ; 

Right -

your shitty fckin rules now

that you had over me to not see- - 

So - 

can you admit and now live freely yourself -

or still hide in your shame 

or admit you were wrong and are sorry-

For even thinking you had the right to abuse me and to

my life of existence as for me what I want it to be.

This is now what is owed to me

My Recovery

for me.

-- -- -- 

To be sad in your own life -

means then something is wrong -

and wrong for you.

because you should never be sad in your own life-

that is a rule.

so, then if you are sad -

then change it or fix it or do what it is that you need to do 

to not feel sad anymore for you.

but if you give up or hide or don't stand up for you and your beliefs-

then who's are you living then through

-- -- --

and it still seems though, , that money if you have not - - then you still cannot dream - - not freely - - as you , my abusers

two fingers I am holding up.

but , I see to, , that is the only way to hurt you

to be equal in money -to be equal in your lust -  - and to make it better for me - - that is what you have to feel now - - - how good that feels for me

no matter what ever this shit all around I have to be in ; 

you lose - I win back me - - 

and all my rights that comes with that 

and for me to always be able to love me and see me , in every world that I can!!

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