All My Thoughts - Nov 18.21




And you are doing this - - against all odds

Remember that  - - so you can remember this :


Remember all that they took from you to be not you –

Don’t be so hard on yourself - - - don’t be so hard on yourself when you get sad or feel all alone –

Because you are not . . . . .You Always have you now


- and me if you need -

So why be hard on you - - your abuser already did that to you - -

Do you see – do you feel that - what that is supposed to mean to you , for you to Always see you !!

Big Smile !!

smile and remember now your life is getting to start!!!


To defeat an abuser

You have to see what he did to you


That is how you become stronger

and stronger than your abuser forever

forever to be

and now not he


-- ------

I can’t afford my life for you to abuse

- what a fckin asshole - - remember that -lol - that is all that your abuser can be, nothing  – do you see - how sad is that - to know an abuser can only be ‘The Nothing’ that tried to make you into the same - - an abuser is a loser - - a loser to life - - a piece of shit bully – that is it


to be a monster and not a man is what an abuser needs to be to exist as a monster and not a man

Look at what you had to do to not be you, my abuser - - look at how less you are and not me - -             you thought you had all my rights over me


I get to be me now - - and my rights are over yours now - - because of what you did to me - - because of the harm you can only do as you breathe - - it is you that breathes and not exist - - hide in your shadows

- - and I will shine - - and the whole world can see me - - now I exist and am free - - you have no hold over me - - and now the only thing you have left is your manipulation – is your manipulation that will keep in your head and not mine - - for you to think over and over - - how did a monster live inside of you and to see your whole life not existing - - because you couldn’t control me - - and that was the only thing you did to live and couldn’t do and now you  - - control yourself to not exist - - to live a life of hate - - that has no matter only to you – because you only have hate to feel to see to touch;  you don’t even have you to see, to love, to enjoy, to live - - because otherwise that is not all that you would do with your life - - - for it to be the life worth Nothing and of only hate –- - - hate controls you and cannot let you see how it controls you and you are not even you - - - your abuse in reverse asshole - -and you can’t see what you did to you to not be because you wanted only me to not be and look it is you that will not be – and you thought you were better than me - - and you can’t even see what you did to you in your hate over me - - what you did to you and not me. It is you that only breathes and doesn’t live - - because I can live without you!!  - -  and your hate which to you is all of one.

Look at me - - tell me now - - that you are stronger than me, that my life has no value , and no value over yours; - - it is you that harmed me – all because a man you couldn’t be – a human to me - - a human to all those that you say you love - - but can only hate. It is you that is sad not me - - because for you to see - - - - look at what you would have to see to overcome the hate in you- - - - look at what you did to you to not exist - -

When you manipulate me - - you manipulate you

When you abuse me – you abuse you

When you hate me - - you hate you

And you did this to yourself; it is your hate not mine

And you cannot see

The circle of abuse that lies within you

And again, you cannot see

The circle of abuse that lies within you

To keep you from being you - -

Just as you tried to do to me

And as me - -

You can stop you from hurting you


To reverse the abuse of an abuser


Find someone that will help you to be strong again, and it might take awhile, so please don’t give up - -

                                                you needs you to not ever give up on you!!

But you don’t have to do it all alone - - reach out –reach out to a friend - - reach out till you find a human -  – that will be a friend –

Why suffer for an ass -!!!!!  

What dreams do you remember you had - -

It is this that is keeping you also strong - - you need to see that too - - what it is already that you are doing to help yourself and you might not see - - because it is so hard - - it is so hard to get to be free - - - when it is that you were not - - so, don’t be so hard on yourself - - that is what they need you to feel - - so you give up, like them, and then you too are now abusing you. So, please see for yourself, feel for yourself; that YES, I AM STRONG !!!!

Think about your dreams now and think about that - - and where that will lead you too!! - -  To such wonderful hope for yourself that you never thought you could get to again or have !!!!

and I say this to be so - - if you don’t give up on one person - - that is it – just one person you have to be strong for - - that is all that you need  to do;  is to stay strong for - -


                                                            And then the rest is easy!!

If I am in control of me and Always was - - until I was abused that was; - - now I see for me to see – that monsters do exist - - and in human form they live; - - and if now I am in control of me once again; - - I cannot let a monster near me – not even in human form - - to my control and to win


Be a new you

That is stronger

Because of only -

You took the time





do not follow me to follow me

follow me to find you

then you don’t need me

you have you -

now we are friends

 to share in life

to share in life that is now of more

and never of less



what can an abuser inspire? nothing



Enough of the abuse onto me

I can’t take it anymore

I can’t take anymore of

Your hate and abuse  - -

To only want less for yourself and

For all that you see;

I want more for all I see

That is me!!!!


(this includes all the assholes in power too!!!

It doesn’t matter where you are where I see you –

If an ass is what you are – an ass is still what you are –

Where ever you are – you are always an ass –

because it is you that you take everywhere with you -  -


If you are supposed to be leaders in society – then lead – or fck off!!)


that means, if an ass is what you are-

You have no right to lead over me

if an ass you can only be –

because an ass only cares about he

and what harm he can do to me - -


because now I see - -

how I have to protect me - -

and it is from you

hurting me

and for no other reason


only if I let you




is this what I am supposed to do -

to lead where others can’t see how

to bring love back to humans

so men and women

can be again

and all can dream

and live lives to live

not just what you want for me, to abuse me from,

then I don’t get to live and only breathe

in a world that is supposed to include me

not suppress

Hate is not what I only want to see and have only to feel

I am capable of more –

To feel and appreciate

If this is my world too –

Then this is what I dream


What do you dream – say it loud

Then life will be even more

And never less



To live to only breathe

But to breathe to live

 Is what I want for me!!


An abuser cannot give

Will only take

It is the abuser that can’t live

And can only live to hide




To my abusers

to take love away from me - - is something that you should have never done to me


Especially one that was only seen as a dog








The sad thing to me is I shouldn't have to say that even; we should all want that; to exist, for all to exist. But I see we all can't. Again; how sad is that. But we must see, the abused, the ones that want love over hate, that we need to protect ourselves and not get mad and be less like them; but to be more - and to be more means you have to understand that you have to protect yourself from them, from those that only want to abuse you. What is also sad; is that nobody cares enough anymore to say even that, so where has all the good people gone?

And what does that say about those that then only want to take in this lifetime in this life in this world from all of us to not have to not live. I just don't understand all the hate to only have to only want

and if I am alone in this world, in my world - - then only Nothing matters

and I then either have to accept and be beaten down again or to say fck you even louder. Because I am not weak to only want less for me for my life to see to be to enjoy to have to share 

my thoughts for hope for a better world that will be a better world; a better world that will itself be more 


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