if you lost something - you should always be able to find it

if you lost something –
you should always be able to find it –
its hard for me to remember ., you ., wanted to kill me ., -
how you could care less as to how you ., viewed ., me –
 and I was made to –
honor you –
right –
you can treat me as shit –
and I am too stupid ., to only ., keep ., taking it –
 and how I will –
 but how you are so  arrogant - - -
you know – I cant see you –
so abuse me even ., more - -
 and then ., blame me –
 to not be able to see –
 like you forgot you tied my hands behind my back - -
and it is ., me –
 wanting –
to - 
breathe –
with the same rights –as you then stole from me –
 I just want .,all ., back –
how can you say – you know shit -- 
if I am not scared  -
to see what is even the worst ., as to fear –
and to keep conquering ., it and in my head - -
I am a bear -- 
I will not stop -- 
because then ., -
 I must feel then ., -
I deserve as you –
because if I can see you -- -
 you then ., -
did not have any rights to harm me -- 
but you are also –
cowards –
and how my dad –
would have only been –
proud –
 if then ., -
I was a boy –
and how your so stupid already –
you are seeing., -
body before –
arrival., –

if i can see you why cant you see now ., me., ., 

it is me that has then ., changed., ., 


you cant see hate is a fake emotion..,.

because you made us see you degrade mom-

and if you then., didn’t say as to the whys- 

you become only ., dumb.,

i could only see 

wanting to understand

already, had value for you 

I only can see what no one can no more

what is then

our own TEST

We all have to journey through what was then OUR ROLE that is Unknown to each of us. Right.
Our personal tests we have to conquer , to then see.
What was then ., our own real ,, before then the abuse to your self , that you then didn’t see ,,
Or you never get to change or leave here.
Here. Is always a test of courage and strength for then
Your own Self and Soul.
And we all now have been abused or manipulated and we each have to see what it was. Right.
Or you never see
Your personal
It is all that i am doing. But because it is harm we all have to see what was done to us. It will be painful.
But after that.
You see to understand,. What was then
The experience
Then needed !!
Its a weird process but we all are now abused, manipulated, in our own way right., that we can not see.
The key!! My friends!!
Lose your fear !!!

its all supposed to be only about Everything!!!

hate, fake love. -you cant see your loop. 
you don’t want to be stuck., here…

Im just seeing.
The things. You did to me., to turn me., into stone.
But you can see.. my mind and soul and body.
Was always
Then FREE.
For me to see.. anything.,.
Because here.,. We are in the land that loses.
For me to understand.,abuse that is done to me and to then see though., yours ., what is then yours …
Because to forget you can connect.
- that should be a humanity right.,.
It is you dad ., that never searched to make sure what your belief ., is right.
It has nothing to do with me .,.
Only i have to see yours ., to see then where then you got lost.
It is you to harm ., me.
But you could only do as me.
I am a miracle !!
Just as those before me trying to tell you.
But you can only see how you do. Right. You think you see more then you do. Right.
How you thought was me.
But it is you.
You are turning into ., a shoe.
And there will always be one of us and for
Both sides.
Because for me to see you.
And here is proof.
I am trying to show you i am not lieing., how too you can only see and that you too .. how you can only react .,
One way
And back to me.
And you cant see.
That means


its just hard to write ., because i have to relive the moment as i Do……..

you wont see how how incredible i am .,. Only hate me more .,.

i cant win … trying to help you. 

I never gad a dadd that cared if i ., had