My First Posts transferred from facebook



First Posts


I knew you would text me. That’s what abusers-predators do. You can’t stop. You need to know if your power over me is still there. You need to know if you can still control me. And if you can get laid then. Or what -maybe I will forgive you, need you, need to suck your dic. That’s all you want –is your power and to get your dic wet. You don’t care that you hurt me, used me, manipulated me,-manipulated my business,  Abused Me. You knew you were hurting me yet you kept on doing it. You choose to hurt me. You pretended to love me so you could abuse me, you used my life up for your nothing more than your limp dic. You had no fuckin right. You are such a fuckin asshole, a monster. And for you to think that after I realized what you are doing to me, that I would what – still want to suck your limp dic. That I want to be your fuckin dog. You would never stop hurting me. You are just a pathetic old man with a limp dic  – Karma is a bitch – a limp dic. That puts a great big smile on my face. But you still wanting to hurt me. Texting me for what, it’s not to make things right by me, it’s to keep treating me like a fuckin dog. How fuckin psychotic is that. You still think you have the right to keep hurting me. And then what – you don’t want anyone to know? Why ? This is your glory – your getting your dic wet, controlling, and you don’t want anyone to know? –Just your Loser Abuser Buddies - Why is that? Because you know it’s wrong. You took so much away from me. And for the record, I didn’t care that you had a limp dic, I Loved You. I will share my love with someone else, and yes, fuck like monkeys-lol. But not with you. Not an abuser like you, not a piece of shit of a man. And I hope that makes you very sad that it will not be with you. I would have loved and fucked you forever. Hope it was worth being less a man for. I realized what you truly are. How you are not ashamed. How do you think you are a man? – You think you have done well in life. You get to experience places, events, have more material things, but that’s it. You will always be alone – because you choose to abuse. Karma – big smile. In case your wondering when I figured it out. It was the day you told me that you were going to Mexico. It was the way you treated me that day. The way you talked to me – it was different, like you could treat me any way you wanted to, that it didn’t matter, that you didn’t need to pretend to care anymore, that you could treat me any way you want, like a dog, your dog. You made a comment to hurt my feelings. And you meant to say it, you meant to make me feel bad, to get me off my guard, so you can what – leave right away? and then you left right away after. You left so fast, you got your dic wet, and you left, leaving me hurt and you knew it. All in less than 10 minutes. And that included the sex. You broke me that day. I realized, that IT IS all I mean to you, to wet your limp dic, that I was worth nothing more than a dog that you could treat however you want and that you know that and that didn’t matter to you, that you didn’t care that you are hurting me, that you used up 10 years of my life for your own selfish needs, my life didn’t matter to you, and that you know that you are choosing to hurt me, and was going to keep doing so. My life was worth no value. You are just a pathetic old man with a limp dic. You needed me, I didn’t need you – I didn’t need your hate. All that energy you put into being a loser –to keep me as your dog, you took away my choices when you started abusing me, when you choose to be nothing more than just a fucker. And look at how old you are, and this is how you choose to be, still. And you think your a good man? A pillar of society. And you thought what, I would want to suck your dic again? After I realize what you are, how you ripped me off the supplies and groceries? – Piss Off. This is how you make things right by me? This is your restitution?   You took so much away from me. Hope it was all worth it David.     You should be truly ashamed.


I apologize to those that if I have let you down during the last few years, slow in getting

your perogy orders ready, not being able to work, for everything less of me.  Unfortunately,

I was being abused. My abuser David Wright. Owner of A1 Rentals and Party Store here in 

Regina. This is the hardest thing I've had to write, to be seen as weak, to have been only

worth a dog, to be abused for nothing more than for his sexual selfish needs, he even abused 

my business for his own selfish needs, my business was of no consequence to him, it meant

something to me. He abused my life in every way and he wouldn't have stopped- he would

have kept doing this, with no care to me and to the abuse that he was inflicting onto me,

with no care to me or to anyone's daughter, sister, friend, client, and employee. An abuser

does not just abuse one. An abuser thinks this is power - this is not power- it is a hate crime.

Protect the ones you love - your sister, daugther . We all deserve respect and The Right  To Life.

Don't let this happen to someone you love, care about. Abuse takes away your

ability to live your life, makes you feel worthless, ugly, alone, depressed. I might be naive,

but I would rather be naive than to abuse-to knowlingly cause harm onto another - to hate.

I am asking that you don't support those that abuse. It can't be done without you. Stop the CYCLE.

An abuser even abuses his own children - teaching them about abuse - and they don't realize.

Or they don't care. I can not get those years back that he stole, abused, manipulated from me. 

And all for what, so he could wet his di**.  Not much of a man.  To treat anyone with such

cruel behaviour,  should not be acceptable by anyone, should not be accepted by those that 

are supposed to protect us. Don't let this happen to someone you care about.  It is truly

heart breaking.   My life is not his.    Live life with love - not with hate. 

In writing this I have regained some of me. The power of words.

In addition, during the break of the Covid-19 David Wright was to be isolated as he had just

returned from Arizona. He did not, he went for daily walks, ran errands, met customers and

clients at his business - not caring for anyone's safety. This is his behaviour, his character.



Aug.29.20.  add rest of thought that wasn’t added in beginning-under: podcast the day he broke me plus other thought of to how I got to this thought. Sorry this in red is for me to remember, a reminder for me. And that I hope to get back too.

The Day He Broke Me

The feelings I felt that day is so hard to hard to re-live. To have to feel again in that way. It almost destroyed me-it almost took my life – what David did to me. How he choose to treat me.

I heard what he said to me that day-but I could only think inside myself-why is he talking like this? What is going on? Something is wrong? Something isn’t right at all. What the hell? Did he really just treat me like this? I must be wrong. This can’t be right? I must be wrong. Why would I even think that? He’s not using me, hurting me, I would know. I would know if he was. Right? Then that means that he did this to me on purpose-he choose to do this – to knowingly know he was treating me like this. He did it on purpose? That can’t be right? Why would I think that? I must be wrong. He loves me. He told me. Why would he hurt me? Why would he hurt me? It doesn’t make any sense.

Podcast to start soon.

If I can help one lady it will be worth it, to save one woman from this.



For the last ten years of my life was taken, stolen from me by David Wright, owner of A1 Rentals and Party Store on Dewdney in Regina- for the only reason as to wet his limp dic. He manipulated me, abused me, stole from me, didn’t care about my business. He made me his slave, his real live fk hole for whenever he wanted. I meant nothing to him. My life meant nothing to him. He pretended to care about me, to love me – over and over – day after day, and all for what? Just to lick his dic? NO. it’s much more than that. His power over someone, to treat like a dog, to steal life itself from someone – that is only what he wanted. He had no right. He had no right to take away my right to choose to be his dog or to walk away from him.

This is my story . . . .



Mr. wRight Shouldn’t Be Mr. Wrong

What kind of a less of a man does it take to manipulate, hate, degrade, abuse a woman just for his dic- to get his dic wet. To use up her life as it doesn’t matter. To be treated as a dog. You took away my right to choose.

I finally get to choose and I hope it is clear to you – To Run From You. To have never wanted your abuse, to have never wanted to be your dog, to have never wanted to be manipulated by you, it wasn’t love it was rape. You took away my choice.

You took away ten years of my life – of time I could have had with someone else, love of a family I could have had, of wonderful memories that could have been mine. You had NO RIGHT.

Abusers handbook

If you are a strong willed woman an abuser will want to see if he can take that away. That is his trophy.

He doesn’t care if he hurts you.



The only way you could have had me was to abuse me. The fact that u had to hurt me to make me love u- that’s pretty pathetic. With all ur “better” upbringing, ur “better” opportunities, ur daddy’s money, ur daddy’s company- and all u r is a loser abuser. How sad and pathetic. U think u r so important – only to ur self. U are not a man – u r so less than. Because I believe in love doesn’t make me weak like u think it does – it makes me stronger than u. I am not ur dog.

My handbook.

Live with love not hate. Don’t be sad because of an abuser –that gives them still power over u. take away their sick pathetic thinking of what they think power is.

Remember they need u – u don’t need them. They r the ones that r damaged. They need u to hurt to make themselves feel better.

Don’t shed one more tear over a loser abuser. They don’t for yo. Decide right now if you want to be happy or be his dog. U lose David. I still believe in love. Not with u. not with a less of a man. Not with a loser abuser. Ur generation of abuse onto women is over. – u didn’t give those u abuse a choice – u didn’t care what it did.




Every day away from u, my abuser – I get stronger and u get weaker



Thank you for all your loving comments. They mean so much.

Thank you

Live with LOVE – not hate.



Dearest Dave

You can keep your sorry. It isn’t worth the air you stole to say it.

You should be so ashamed.



I don’t want hate in my life. I don’t need to be treated with hate.

Neither do you my sisters. Let’s stand together.

Stop abuse onto yourself, your sisters, your friends. Would you want to be treated with hate? Would you want to be treated how Dave treated me? That the only thing you are worth is his dog. To have your life used up for nothing more than to wet his limp dic. Not for love, happiness. Just lies, degradation, hate, abuse.

He has no right. No piece of shit man has a right to abuse, to take life from a woman, to steal her happiness, her life itself. A Loser Abuser is just one step above a serial killer. They don’t care how they treat you. You mean nothing to them.

My Loser Abuser is David Wright owner of A1 Rentals and Party Store in Regina.

Who is your loser abuser?

They have no right.

It isn’t love.



If u know if someone in an abusive relationship, don’t look the other way, be a f’n friend, a sister, a brother. What if it was u. Help each other / that’s what u r supposed to do – not act like the loser abuser too and not care. If u know of someone tell them that u love them and u r worried for their happiness. And that’s it. If u r able to let them stay with u for the weekend – important to have no contact with the abuser even for a weekend – as that constant connection of shame , hate is broken. Even for that short time a woman can stop and take a look at wow – am I happy?

Important to say that first part to her. So she knows ur not judging her too. Please if u say u r a friend than be a friend even if it hurts.

As for Dave – how pathetic is it that all he wants to do to women is hurt them, use them to wet his limp dic. Wow. If u see a Dave – run from Dave.

Ur life depends on it.

If you need someone to talk to

Please text me. I am here.







I kept thinking over and over in my head – I had to get back to who I was, that I used to be so HAPPY. It kept repeating – over and over. I almost didn’t hear. I almost gave in. I almost gave up. (To which is the goal of a Loser Abuser – Make her not able to live without you - no loose ends of what they did to a woman.  A Loser Abuser won’t care, it’s the final piece – taking your own life – and he will be just proud of himself that he is so powerful that he made you feel so worthless, that you are a weak worthless dog - he was finished with her anyways. )

I didn’t realize that my Loser Abuser, David Wright, owner of A1 Rentals and Party Store here in Regina, that he pounded and beaten that into my head. That all I was worth was nothing, just HIS slave, his real life sex slave, HIS dog. David choosing day after to hurt me, to utterly abuse every part of me just because he wanted to – to which he benefited greatly from(making me his plaything– because he thinks he has a right to abuse women because he has a dic (that’s it – that’s there thinking-or lack of). Day after day, year after year, David took life itself away from me- my life. My happiness, my wanting to live with love, not hate. He took my ability to choose to RUN AWAY from him, to be able to see what he was actually doing to me, destroying me, killing me. Abused by him for 10 years. My life became a means to an end for a man – for a Loser Abuser man, pretending  to be a man - if he was a man this would not have ever happened to me or anyone else. He choose to abuse me, to hurt me, he wanted to, he needed to to make me his DOG. He took everything from me – just so he could feel better about himself. Just to have his limp dic wet.  A monster.  Not a man. His deliberate manipulation onto me - beating me down so he could show how powerful a Loser Abuser he is. To make himself a dog for his dic, for his selfish needs. Loser Abusers’ are not to be feared –but to see what they are – what they do  –  to keep them away from someone you care about. To not let into your life – to not let them take everything from you. And all for what – they destroy women just so their dic can get wet. The most pathetic reason of all. For a 20 second jolly. To keep hate onto women – to keep women less – to show other Loser Abusers like himself what he has taken - to be able to show to other Loser Abusers that women are here only because they allow it. That is a Loser Abuser. That is what he will do to you.

It is the Loser Abuser that is worth nothing.

I had to try to remember wonderful moments before I met David, to remember how I used to feel, HAPPY. Happy inside, happy to be alive, wanting to be alive, that I was strong, wanting love in my life not hate, not to be a dog for David, not property for David, not a real live thing with holes to put his limp dic into. He benefited greatly from the abuse that he did to me – and he killed me to do it, he took my life to do it. And would have kept killing me if I didn’t stop his abuse onto me. I can never get my time back that he took, what he took from me without my permission, without my consent to treat me so worthless. His hate onto me is a HATE CRIME. IT WAS RAPE – PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY. YEAR AFTER YEAR. This is what a Loser Abuser will do to your friend, your sister, your daughter – and he won’t care. He won’t care that it is you he is doing it too, he won’t care that it is his friend’s daughter or sister. He won’t care. He thinks this is his right as a piece of shit man, as a piece of shit father, brother. A real man would never treat anyone like this.

So, How Much Is My Life Worth?

  • As a human being
  • As a woman
  • As a slave for his sexual gratification
  • As a dog





Make sure to treat your new DOG with

  • No Respect
  • No Love
  • Give it plenty of HATE every day
  • Feed it just enough so it relies on you
  • Let your Loser Abuser Buddies’ know you have a new DOG – share how you trained your new DOG, share pics of your new DOG
  • Teach your DOG that when you are away it must STAY – stay in that exact spot
  • Don’t let your DOG near others, they might learn, pick up bad habits like thinking
  • Always command your DOG to obey, when to bark, when to think
  • Teach your DOG you are it’s MASTER – that it needs you to survive
  • Teach your DOG you are it’s best provider, it’s best lover it ever has- make the DOG lie to itself to be always be that loyal DOG, brainwash your DOG into believing everything you tell it
  • You can teach your DOG anything you want – whether the truth or not, it’s your DOG – it’s your property, treat it as the DOG it is – that’s why you trained it
  • Don’t give your DOG too many treats or presents, or spend a lot of money on – you don’t have too- it’s your DOG to do with as you wish
  • Teach your DOG tricks
  • Show your DOG what will happen if it disobeys, when it doesn’t do what you command, if it won’t keep your secret – you don’t want your DOG telling anyone else that isn’t abusing other own DOGS what you are doing, how you are treating your DOG, you want the abuse to continue for as long as you can
  • you don’t want your DOG happy
  • Don’t worry if your DOG dies or if you hurt it so bad, there are many more DOGS you can get, can train, can command, can kill – remember you are part of a community of other LOSER ABUSERS, we can help you learn how to care for your DOG – to be a LOSER ABUSER MAN
  • Remember to give your DOG some fresh air once in awhile – take it for a car ride, pretend to show you truly care about the DOG – just enough so you don’t break the DOG – well for as long as you still want that DOG – after you can just throw away your unwanted DOG, your DOG that you are finished with wanting to keep, to keep abusing – your DOG can be literally be tossed away like garbage




This mantality of cruelty towards WOMEN stops NOW. The generation of abusing your wife, your girlfriend, just because you are a woman.  Because he is the man, obey his glorious limp dic, she has to listen, you are stronger than her, you can throw her down a well if she doesn’t obey, she is your property. It shows that with all of David’s benefits in life, all the money he has, all his opportunities, that David chose to be nothing more than just like his father, to be less a human and to be that of a monster. Just because he has a dic, a limp dic at that, (tell me Karma is not a woman! lol ) He has no right to cause harm onto my well-being, for the simple fact that I am “just” a woman. Nor does any other Loser Abuser – its pure hate. This “just” a woman  – wrote this. Is not afraid of a less of a man, to stand up against hate. To not want this to happen to anyone else.

It’s considered a hate crime when a man is raped – but a citation when it is a woman, if even that.

Don’t let this happen to someone you say you care about. This is what will happen to her – if she survives. And if she survives once she realizes what he did to her, what he took from her.

From a man beating his wife to a man beating his child to a man beating yours. A Loser Abuser thinks this is evolution.


Thank you for taking your time to read this. Protect those around you. The only difference between a man and a woman – is a dick – is a Loser Abuser that wishes he could love, to not be alone with all his hate. All his money, the only thing he values - is worthless, you can’t buy LOVE.









Thank you for reading.

I had to recover, regain who I was not only all alone but with the beginning of covid and it’s challenges, even monies owed by David, unpaid. Now, from his subjecting me to such horrible pain- is now my strength and my power, not only for me but I hope for you too. It wasn’t because I was weak that he did this to me- it was because I was strong, a challenge for him to take a strong woman and turn her into his property, his dog. A weak woman is where they start.

I would not have been able to write to this , let alone to admit to myself to this horrible pain, that I believed him every time he would say I Love You, I’m not hurting you, why would u ask that? How could I admit to such pain if I was a mere weak woman; a mere weak woman would not have been able to write to this, to say to this. We have to take care of each other. They do.

You can’t stop it alone. You don’t even see it start-they are so good at being manipulative. They already know what they are going to do to you – the minute they meet you.

To hate is so primitive, so caveman.



Take care of those you love.

A loser abuser will start his career with a weaker woman, to learn how to carve his niche in the club of loser abusers.


Dearest Dave

How many women did u have to abuse to get where u r today? How many women’s lives did u take advantage of, all for in the name of ur limp dic? How much pain u caused ur family, friends. And for what? I’m sorry u can never feel that truely incredible love, for urself, for someone else. I’m sorry u will never be able to have those experiences that will fill ur heart with just love, happiness.

I would have loved you forever. U would have abused me forever. U had no right Dave and more shameful is that u know that, and u still think u have the right to treat women as less, as a means to an end for ur selfish needs. I am not property. U should be so ashamed that all u can be is a loser abuser. Big deal. Ur no hero. Ur a monster. Plain and simple. U have no right to take anyone’s life and cause harm onto. A real man wouldn’t have.

We have to start helping each other. That’s what loser abuser men don’t want. For us, for women to be strong. And especially together, as one. Like they r.

Please. Let’s take care of each other. There is no room for hate within.



A Loser Abuser sticks up for other Loser Abusers

A Loser Abuser protects other Loser Abusers

A Loser Abuser has taught us not too

Not to care about protecting ur sisters, ur daughters, ur friends




A Mother’s Prayer

-to understand that the mother is the soul, heart, the strength of the family

-to protect ur family from all harm even within, especially within

-to help other mothers to not be less like a monster needs u to be

-to see the monsters, to keep watch over ur family, over the ones u love

-to always protect, love

-to take a stand for ur family

-to keep away hate, despair away from ur life and those u love

-to always be stronger than a monster no matter the cost

-to show support to others that want happiness, love for their families-this will definitely piss off a monster

-to understand that doing nothing against hate IS HATE

To understand that doing nothing is showing how not to love.

-to understand that a Mother’s Love should be the greatest love to grow from

-to protect all families, to protect family values, love, happiness for life

Happy Mother’s Day to all the now mom’s and to those we lost to hate.


-there is no room for hate if u want love




Dearest Dave

Did u do this to me because I made fun of ur dic? I had broken up with u, I didn’t want to see u again, u had hurt me so bad- I bet u don’t remember that thou- and I had got mad at u because of what u did to me and made fun of ur dic, even though that didn’t ever matter to me if u couldn’t perform. U had apologized to me and we got back together. We had forgiven each other. But u didn’t. That’s when u decided u where gonna hurt me, make me pay for even saying that. Instead of being a man( in which we see that u can’t be) and moving on, u where gonna make me pay for even saying that – u where gonna hurt me, use me, abuse my life, waste my life with u so I couldn’t have one, wouldn’t feel loved. U know how important that was to me, u knew of some things my ex husband did to me- yet u choose to manipulate me, abuse me, rape me, steal my life from me – I wouldn’t have been with you otherwise – I would have moved on just fine. I didn’t need u – but u needed me to hurt, to abuse to make urself feel better about urself. Every day u choose to do this. U could have stopped but u choose to abuse me. U Fukien bully. U piece of shit. Ur a caveman, u will never evole. U would rather waste how much of even ur life just so u could hurt me, abuse me. Yeh, u sure showed me Dave, u showed me that there are worse things than monsters – there is u Dave. It is ur life that is worth nothing. U couldn’t let anyone else love me, or let me be happy. Worse yet, u could have stopped yet u didn’t want to – u continued to cause harm onto me – with purpose. All u had to do was stop and let me go. What the f is wrong with u Dave? U missed the whole point to life Dave, although I am glad- I know that’s not nice but it’s all u deserve – u can stay in hate. So how many of ur loser abuser buddies did u brag too? Ur generation only wants to abuse, u abused ur ex wife, ur own family. They couldn’t stand up against u – but I will, even if it makes me realize things about me I didn’t want to, that I’m naïve, stupid. But I’d rather be that than u – to be filled with hate. U abuse everyone around u even ur son. Where do u have to stay when u r allowed to visit ur son’s family? At least he is a man that protects his family even from within. All u do is abuse Dave- we have to protect ourselves from u. U even abuse ur employees – a dollar here, a dollar there. U keep the circle of abuse going instead of being a better man than ur father, abusing even ur own mother- the first woman u abused. Even she saw it Dave – even she couldn’t forgive u. it is ur choice to abuse – to be who u r, and this is how u will be remembered like all other loser abusers. I didn’t need u but u sure needed me.


U will know when ur in love – u will know when he loves u – u will feel it – inside – and u will be happy.

If ur not feeling loved – maybe ur not being loved.

I hope this helps at least one woman, one family to be able to have love in their life, not hate from a man that is just not a man. Hate only gives hate. U will never grow from hate.





Even though I lost all these years to David. I still feel like I did when I was younger, believe in love. I don’t feel in my mind that I’m now 49 but I feel finally free. That I can start to think, to see to be happy. Away from his hate. To want to be happy and want to live being happy; like how before I met David. Not with hate. Also the hate he gave me for myself. He took what should have been the most enjoyable time of my life to explore. Time lost. But it also could have been my life.\to Hate is so primitive.




It’s simple to stop hate.

Just stop.




How a Duck Turned into a Jaguar


What does it show a daughter if her mother doesn’t stand up against abuse.

It shows a daughter what love is not

It shows a mother not loving her daughter

Once u realize and u stay in an abusive situation – u show ur children abuse. Not love.


What does it show a son if his father abuses.

It tells a son it’s okay to abuse

It tells a son not to protect his sisters, his friends

If you think love by control is how to be loved - then you only deserve what you gave – nothing


I am a product of what happens when a mother doesn’t stand up for her children, when she is supposed to be the one showing love not showing  how money can make it okay to look the other way. My mother was the first to be abused by my father. My mother was the first to abuse me by not protecting me.

If you stayed because of the kids u r lying to urself and the fact that u let a monster hurt ur own children – ur children that u r supposed to love and protect. U can tell urself whatever lies u need to but u let ur children down.

I tried to protect my children even at the cost of all I believed to be true or should be true. I tried to keep my children from harm from their father ; but then realized there was a bigger monster, my father. And what he did to me and to my children is unforgivable and can’t happen to anyone else. I was afraid. Who would care about me and want to help me. I stood up against my father, my husband and last my lover and thought my friend; David Wright, for the last 10 years abused my life just so he could wet his dic. It’s been a life of such pain and despair yet I still don’t want to be like them. Full of hate. Even though I had no love growing up I still knew how important it is to have, to want. To hate in this day and age should be so shameful. That all u can be to others is a monster-then stay the f away from people. From my community. What right do monsters have to to take life away from those they say they  love. U piece of shit rat bastards. We r not weak anymore. We see what ur abuse onto us has done. The damage ur abuse inflicted upon our own happiness.

How dare u use up my life for nothing more than to satisfy ur limp dic. I’m not ur slave. I have rights. I have the right to life, to a life without hate. Hate from u. Ur hate that took my life from me.

Maybe we don’t deserve to evolve if we still treat each other with hate. We r still so primitive in thought. Instead of wanting so much better , instead of wanting to evolve.

We can’t evolve if we still hate.


I choose to live with love.

I choose not to hate, to be still primitive.




I understand that there is good and bad in the world . . .

But how much evil do u want to be surrounded by before u take a stand against it?



Happy Father’s Day

Happy Father’s Day to those men that r real men

That place family above hate

That show love for themselves and the ones they love

That show what it means to truely be a man

That care about more than themselves

That r more than hate

That r more than a Dave

Thank you to the fathers that r men

We love u for being stronger than those men that r weak

Thank you for making the world a better place

Happy Father’s Day




We All Must Be Better Than OUR Pasts- Miss Kitty


Dearest Dave

So do u think u can still hide what u r? That ur not a man, ur a predator, a monster. And that u think women will not stand up against u? I’m not afraid of u. I didn’t need u. I see what u really r – hate. U had no right to harm me in any way.

And to those who judged me- and wrongly – it’s not me u should have been judging – it is him u should have been judging – and it is u – for not standing up against his hate. I wish I didn’t realize this – all this hate. But that is why I am writing this. So it stops. So that good people see that loser abusers r not to be feared – because they have money – so what? –

I am worth more than ur hate Dave




They say that women fall for men like their father. That is something else I have had to come to terms with. That my father is a very bad man, just like Dave Wright (owner of A1 Rentals and Party Store here in Regina) my father abused me, manipulated me, hurt me, disgraced me, treated me as a dog, never cared about my well-being as a person, as a daughter, as a woman. My father’s hate was also disguised as love, especially in front of others.  Loser Abusers know how to be, how to act, how to get away with every mistreatment to women - it doesn’t even matter if they are their daughters, their children, they know what they are doing. They know it is wrong to the rest of society but if they can change society into being more like them – then it isn’t wrong, then their way of life can grow, their hate can infect others. This is where we are as a society. Do you want to be a f-ing rat bastard like my father, Iran Kachur; or like Dave Wright, to cause pain onto your lives, your children, to take from you everything. Because that is what they are doing. Or are you gonna take a stand for family, it is real men and women that protect their children – not sell them out. It is these men that have sold out their own families for money, for their selfness wants and needs. Just because they think they can – they think they can get aweay with it. And they have- look around at all the hate- it is from them, those loser abusers that care only about money and their limp dic. Otherwise you tell me why then our world is in such pain. It is because we are afraid to do the right thing anymore. How absurd is that. I am worth more than their hate, you are worth more than their hate. It won’t stop unless we say no to it. And be better. Evolve.  All our gifts of technology and we still living in the same past – of the same hate, we always believed what we were told, but I guess it really matters in who is doing the telling, what are their motives? I want to be happy, to live in a world where I am not only of value for me being a hole for a limp dic. My father was supposed to love me, my lover was supposed to love me; instead of abusing me, abusing other women as well. All in the name of money and hate.




If u don’t want this world to be a piece of shit and u do nothing against it – it is ur own fault- we all know better now – we all see what hate does – so why r u letting assholes make the decisions for this world that we  want to protect, to live with love not hate. Every time u say or do nothing u r letting hate win. Loser abuses fight together to have hate – so we have to fight together if we want good. It sounds kinda silly when one says it like that but it’s true.and hate is winning. I want to love, be loved, to be part of a family that loves, I want memories and moments of love, happiness. I have no room for hate. So what is ur excuse; so what is ur excuse for doing nothing against hate.

Unless that is what u want to live in – in others filth.

And it really is so easy. Just say no to hate. Just stop hating. Be bigger than hate and u will feel better, u will feel what love can really do.




It makes me so sad that I was born into a world of hate,

That men would rather abuse their daughters, their wives, their friends, then show their love. And these same men infect the rest of the world so that all a girl knows is hate, not love; even though all that girl wants and still hopes for

Is Love.



What kind of a man r u

-if you need to beat ur wife to make urself feel better;

-if u need to hurt ur children because u can;

-if u need to manipulate women to lick ur dic to make u feel powerful

Is that what makes a man?

Or is it a MAN that stops those that beat and degrade women; it is a man that stops those that abuses their children; it is a man that places respect for himself and his family, friends above thinking for his limp dic. A man honors himself and those he loves not to take advantage of them. A man doesn’t promote rape, hate.

Dearest Dave: is this all u r? is that the only “love” u want to have? Is that all the “love” u want to share with someone?

Hate. Ur love is hate is u that should be ashamed of how u treat others. U have no right. U had no right to abuse me and call it love.




Dearest Dave

Because ur hate onto me, ur abuse done onto me, ur daily manipulation of my mind, ur degradation onto me, ur constant rape – it wasn’t love – I wouldn’t have been with u – I didn’t want ur hate – it is u that doesn’t have me now, it is u Dave that doesn’t have ur dog. Because of ur crimes against my right to life, I am no longer afraid. What ws I afraid of anyways – asshole men that can’t be men? F u Dave and Ur generation of loser abusers onto women. It is u Dave and ur loser abuser buddies that r the shit of society. Assholes that abuse women so their filthy dic can get wet. U assholes think ur dic is so special – but it’s not. U think ur limp dic is special Dave? Do u think u have the right to abuse women because u have a dic? Lol lol. U piece of shit losser abusers r so stupid too. Thinking ur dic is so special when u know it’s not. Or is that another reason why u abuse? because u r inept? We already know that u loser abusers can’t be actually happy, u can’t feel love. All u have to offer anyone is hate Dave. That’s all that u r worth. Even with all ur money. U r no better than bill cosby, and all the other loser abusers that r turning our world into hate. It is ur fault Dave when ur family, friends look at u and are ashamed of u- when it is u that should be ashamed Dave. It is ur family, friends Dave that do see u for what u r – a  monster, mot a man. so who r u trying to fool? Urself, how many lies do u have to tell urself Dave when u look into the mirror? I didn’t need ur hate Dave, nor did any other woman, especially ur daughters. How do u justify ur behavior onto them? Or I guess it doesn’t matter – an abuser doesn’t care. All u have is hate Dave and a limp dic. That’s all u deserve if that’s all u want to be, karma is a bitch. And u have pissed her off.


Assholes want us not to be friends, not to care about each other – that’s how they r winning.




Thank you to everyone for their kind words. Thank you for your support. Thank you for wanting more for ur children, for urself. We don’t need hate. Asshole men do. assholes in power, in our government; they need to hate for them to survive. We don’t. It’s these piece of shit men that have taken advantage of all of us. We r done with their lies. With keeping us afraid. It is not us that is afraid anymore.




Dearest Dave

I didn’t need ur hate

I needed ur love

I needed u to be the Man U

Pretended to be





If only hate matters; we wouldn’t care to try and help each other, we wouldn’t care about wanting to be good, none of that would matter. If we live in a world that only hate matters; a word such as hope would never be. in a world of hate there would never be a thought such as hope. But one person did; at least one individual did. And did amongst nothing but hate. That thought changed them forever. They could feel that there was something so much more than only hate. It became Hope. And in a world of nothing but hate, at least one person, one individual  shared with another that Hope and changed our world of only hate into a world of possibilities and of love. And they wanted Hope for everyone. They wanted everyone to be able to feel it, to have it. Look at how far we have got. Our next step isn’t to add more hate. It is to have even less. For us all to stand up together, so that Hope can take us to the next step in this incredible journey of life. To evolve from hate and become so much more. To live in a world with no hate. Think of the possibilities then.

It is a journey of life – not of hate

Miss Kitty




Dearest Dave

My father didn’t have the right to abuse me – what right did you think you had to abuse me?




Women need to start supporting other women

You don’t want this to happen to your daughter

Families need to start supporting other families

Women need to stop being the other woman

Women need to have more self respect than what they are told they r only worth

We need to be supporting each other – not hurting each other

Thank you




Every woman should sue the CRTC for allowing and continuing the degradation and oppression of all women in Canada thus degrading families everywhere.




Dearest Dave

I would have loved you forever

And you would have abused forever

I would have loved you forever

Because that’s what my father

Raised me to be abused



Stop and take a look at urself. Be honest with yourself so you can love urself. It will be the hardest thing u do, to accept that u where abused. But u will never feel so free. It’s what they want. Not to speak about it. Not to share with other women. Not to say THIS IS WRONG.




At the end of the day, is that all it is? Those that abuse and those being abused?

I hope not. I would rather have someone to love, and oh yes **** so hard sometimes !! because that is the point of life – how you live – not how many things you have. All those things don’t matter in the end – especially if you want that true love, that bonnie and clyde passion of complete love for each other; I bet the sesx they had was incredible.(not for what they did).but to truely feel connected with someone no matter what. That’s what staying in an abusive relationship will get you ladies, absolutely nothing. I would rather chance having that than being someone’s dog. Where was my love?

Love yourself enough to get out; only you can do that. But the rest of us will be with you when you do! is there not things you dream of wanting, being? I never wanted to grow up and just be abused.

That’s what they wanted. Asshole men that should be so ashamed. Ashamed for harming their own daughters and for harming other daughters.

And yet you judge me. I’m not the one to be judged.

All I want is to be loved not used. Even a little of what bonnie and clyde had would feel amazing to me!!

Dearest Dave

I didn’t need ur hate; just ur love.



Dearst Dave

But at the end of the day, u knowingly abused me, manipulated me, controlled me, raped me, stole my life from me, even took money from me, gee u’re a fuckin piece of shit. And all for what, so u could get ur dick wet whenever u wanted. Well then u owe me for services rendered u piece of shit. If that’s all women r worth to u, to satisfy ur selfish needs, then it’s time to pay up. 10 years worth u fuck. If u would have been honest with me and said all u want me for is for ur dick; I would have left then too, but at least u would have been honest. U had to lie to me, manipulate me, control me, u had to abuse me every day  - to be able to have me. U had to abuse me to have me because otherwise u would not have had me at all. That is the loser that u r Dave. I am stronger than u. How that must piss u off and ur dick ain’t special. It’s actually pathetic in itself. For one that defines himself by his sexual conquests his dick is lifeless just like himself. It’s u Dave that is the succubus of other’s lives. It is ur life that has less value, even with all ur better upbringing and more money, not mine. To be of so much hate Dave u gave up on ur life long time ago. Me, I still want to live, to love, to fuck with passion not hate, to enjoy not destroy. In achieving such connections with people that will become the start of new happiness for me that u will never be able to get;  even though u strive so much to have it, to just to be loved truly as for u. But as u r just a hateful, spiteful old man, u will never have, not even with all ur money. And to what u did to me, because u know what u did to me, that u would rather be a primitive piece of shit then that is all u deserve, the same hate that u give is all that u deserve. U have a choice too Dave, to stay an abuser or to stop. It is ur choice to live ur life, as it is my choice to live mine. So, what fuckin right did u have to abuse me u fuck? U owe me for 10 years of my life. U took away my right to choose because of ur abuse onto me. I don’t cr if u can’t finally be a man, although it does sadden me because I thought u were so much more, but at the end of the day it doesn’t matter because maybe that’s what u abusers do, give a bit of “caring” to keep the manipulation going and that’s the problem with manipulation is that no one will know if u r really worth forgiving or r u still abusing. If u want to be an asshole at least own up to it or really what r u hiding from? pretending to be? U can’t even be a man in the slightest meaning of it as u still hide what u r so then how r u living ur life at all? U’re not. U r even being controlled by ur hate. LOL Ur hate’s bitch. LOL. Or u would own up to what u do. U would be proud of what u do, or is it because u know it’s wrong and that’s why u loser abusers can only shr with other loser abusers? Hello? u stupid fuck, u can’t even be happy with urself Dave. How pathetic of a life is urs. Me, I want to be more, to learn so much that I haven’t, to see so much life around me and to be part of it. All I know is that u could have never had me in ur life, u didn’t deserve my happiness, my strength, my love. U had to abuse me to get it. At the end of the day nothing else matters than that, that u choose to abuse me, rape me, manipulate me, destroy me day after day knowing that u where taking time from my life that I can never get back. That is what u owe me for Dave, for time that u stole from me. My Happiness. My lost moments in my life that u destroyed.

That is what a loser abuser does to u. Tries to destroy u. Tries to take ur happiness, ur zest for life because that’s really what they want to feel even though they know they can never feel it, can never be happy inside like other people, can never feel truly loved as who they really r. But it’s really silly because if they would just stop hating, hurting, they could, or maybe they can’t – but then if that’s the case then why should I cr about an abuser then, they have no purpose to those that want to live with love, happiness. I also needed to see how I was raised to see why I am attracted to those that r nothing more than a waste of my time. . . and that of every woman.

 A monster can only hate – if u keep feeding it – it will keep hating

If u stay in abuse – that is all u will ever have is his abuse

Loser Abusers need to abuse u to make themselves feel better about them – so what r u doing for urself?

Payment is due for services rendered u fuck. U should be so ashamed Dave of thinking this is how u treat women, family, friends, it is ur hate. U r so not worth ur lies. I’m worth so much more. And so is every woman.

I am a survivor of abuse from Dave Wright, owner of A1 Rentals and Party Store. He only cares about He.

Happiness is one key for life.




U think u r so much smarter than me? Why? Because u where able to abuse me for 10 long years? Well u Fuck?? That’s what u don’t get Dave is that everyone can abuse if they want to, it is us as humans. Those that don’t abuse r those that r better than u Dave. To choose not to hate even though u can. Just by that and that alone – that makes me better, smarter than u. And u Dave with all ur better upbringing, all ur daddy’s money and u turned that money into a want of what could u do with all that money? How can u treat people for ur betterment? And u think ur so smart in figuring this out. it is u that hasn’t figured it out. We can all be like that, mean, primitive in thought and wants to not truly get then what life is about and all that it has to offer. And this is not just for those that abuse, we all have that right to live with happiness or to be a fuckin piece of shit. To abuse someone is so simple in thought. It is to realize that there is more to life. It’s to realize what is the purpose of life? of my life? What have I been lead to believe? what r the real questions in life? I want to know these things, I want to feel more than what I am! I want to feel more than what I have been lead to believe and been lead to believe that was all I could be, David’s Dog. I want to understand myself, my reasons for thinking a certain way, for why do I do things a certain way. What am I all missing? In my knowledge, in knowing even me, myself? What can I all learn? Who can I be? (other than Dave’s Dog). What Is it that I want to feel? Truly for me to want to feel? To want to be? What things if I knew would open other opportunities for me? I have been kept in the dark for so long that there r so many things that I didn’t see, didn’t feel, didn’t understand, that I want to learn, to know so much that I have missed out on. All because one man decided that all I was worth was to be his dog. His play thing. Discardable. I had dreams. They seem so many light years away from when I first thought of them. That it was like many life times ago. But I can still remember this feeling of being so super happy. Just happy with me, with myself. That all I could feel was this unknown happiness that I needed to remember, sounds so weird. But yet I don’t feel that it is. I just remember feeling happy, with me. That all that pain Dave did to me was his pain, that he had to make me feel it so that I could never leave him. To feel so lost within myself, not seeing, not feeling a part of life, my life. To know that I would never want to stay in abusive situation. To remember deep inside myself that I Have To Run. To know that if I have a choice to make someone feel pain or hapiness; that it be with kindness. I have felt such horrible pain in my life and I can do without it. I would rather learn about the possibilities that my life can offer myself. That there was so much life around me and that I didn’t even see any of it. All the questions u used to ask urself about why? U forgot about. That happiness of living ur life the way u where supposed to be given that right to do so. That now u feel so alive for the first time in, 10 years, (this is what abuse will do to u) that u realize that if u had stayed in school u could have had ur degree. Or u could have fell in love and had many grandkiddies by now. Lol. But all these moments r gone, forever, because ur life was taken from u for that of an asshole, of an abuser, of a monster that’s only goal was to take ur life and ur passion from u, that u have missed out on so much living. Because of a piece of shit that doesn’t even cr if he has wasted his life too because he spent it abusing me instead of living – but maybe he wasn’t wasting his life - - he liked doing what he did, he knew what he was doing – he choose to do so even after all of that thinking so then he wanted to – he enjoyed knowing that he took so much time away from my life – sick fuck. It doesn’t matter at how u look at it because the conclusion is that he had a choice to stop hurting me and he choice every time to abuse me. All the manipulation he did to me. All the constant abuse from him. He knew how to treat me, he knew how to control me, he knew how to take everything away from me. So I guess he is smarter than me in being a fucking piece of shit loser abuser rat bastard, that feels good. lol. Need humour. Lol. And then u realize u where raised a certain way, so that loser abusers can spot u out. I think it’s to do with our needing to feel loved, or something. They take that and use it against ourselves. Make us feel guilty when there is no reason for us to in the first place. And many other things. So, my fuckin question is now that I figured it out, what the fuck is next? If that is all we r is just takers and those taken from – in the eyes of an abuser. . . but in the eyes of a lover, of a life participant, of one that wants to be more than just a primitive fuck like Dave and all other abusers - - then I guess I would be thinking like that too, but I’m not, there is more to life. Remember an abuser needs u – not the other way around. This is another way in how they keep control. There is realizing who we can inspire to be, there is having connections with people to learn even more new things and shr so many life experiences, rather than to be a man’s dog. Who in the fuk r u Dave to take all that away from me. To keep me in ur hate, in ur world of nothing. U couldn’t have me happy, that is something u r so afraid of even though u want to be able to feel happy like others, but u can’t; and then u hate my happiness. Just in love alone Dave u will never get to feel the incredible way love is, rape is not love, what u did to me was not love, it was rape. I am not ur property, I am not ur slave, what right did u think u had? Because u have a dic? Because u have money? Really? Again, how fucking primitive in thought. We all can choose to be losers, it’s those that don’t that r the winners. I don’t need ur hate in my life. I want to live, to be happy, learn, explore. To live With Love for myself & others. To my father, Dave, Ur generation of abusers is over, we see what u r and what u do. U have no right to place harm onto mine and then make it my fault.



U men think u r getting what u want by treating women the way u want to, however u want; but u will never be loved because of what u do to women, because of how u treat women.




Instead we should be so excited to be able to be able to connect with other mammals. Er r the only mammals on earth that can connect the way we can with each other. We shouldbe enjoying each other so much and experiencing so much. In our one life that we get. And yet Dave all u thought that I deserved is nothing. it is not me that deserves to have only nothing. it is ur hate u put onto me. I just loved u.

U should be so ashamed Dave

U want to waste ur life that’s ur right Dave – but u had no right to waste mine. Net ever did I give u my permission for that.

U owe me for 10 years



Dearest Dave

What right did u have in making me feel worthless ? I thought you where so much more. But u r not. Ur just a loser. All ur lies, ur manipulation made me believe. What right did u have to make me feel worthless u fuck. I never have gave u that right. Only to love me like u said. U fuck. Who’s worthless now. It isn’t me.

Ladies get ur strength back. They never deserved you. Don’t let them take ur life from u.



Remember Ladies get mad, why r u sad? F that shit. U r not to blame so

Get Mad

Get Tough

Demand What U Want Out Of Life

It might be a weird process like mine –lol- but it is helping me as I hope that it can help someone else. Our pussies r worth more than their dirty dics! Lol. Remember to laugh ladies. And then I write this stuff and I start to feel happiness again, and that David didn’t take my life; well at least happier for moments and always trying not to be sad, to not feel worthless like David needed me to feel, to be. That horrible sadness that took 10 years of my life just for his limp dic, that all my life was worth was nothing. And to not relive, remember, that David did this to me on purpose – day after day, rape after rape, year after year. What right did u have to make me feel so worthless? U Fuck. I used to be so full of life. I can feel that inside me, that’s how I want to be, not Dave’s Dog, not hating like Dave, but living, loving, and of course fucking,lol, and learning. There is so much to learn, why let some asshole take that from u, he won’t cr that he did. I just want to be happy without having to be raped by a man. By Dave. What David did to me was the Long Game of rape. Breaking me down, manipulating me, forcing me with his lies and degradation into a sexual game that I did not give my consent for. U Fuck. U stole 10 years from me Dave. What r u finally going to do for those 10 years? We all know it isn’t to finally be a man. U r too good at being a rat bastard loser abuser, u like it, u enjoy degrading women, u wouldn’t change for anyone. – get it- lol-cause he’s a monster- it’s only us that wants to keep believing – a monster is a monster. That’s it. A monster.

I am stronger than u Dave. That alone must piss u off! Lol. U thought I was so good when u where raping me over and over; just think how good it is when I’m not being raped; u fuck.

I figured out ur game Dave u fuck. I know what u did to me and now u know that I know – so does it make u happier Dave that u hurt me and made me ur dog and now that I know too? Oh right . . . a monster is a monster. Fuck u Dave. Fuck u in thinking that u where smarter than me so u could abuse me and hurt me and take my life from me. Fuck u in thinking that it didn’t matter to abuse me. Fuck U!! And that I wouldn’t say anything – to be even still ur loyal dog? Fuck U! Who in the fuck do u think u r? Sorry to be the one to tell u Dave but u r only important to u and I would bet that even ur loser abuser buddies don’t want u in the club anymore – as well, ur dog got away and started barking!! U Fuck. U r just a guy with a dic, well a limp dic, but I never complained. All u r is a loser abuser Dave – an abuser to ur family, friends, employees, to anyone that has to unfortunately come in contact with u, especially women.

Ladies we have to start taking care of each other, why are we fighting with each other and hurting each other – that is what asshole men want us to do – to not act as one, to not support each other. It’s time to wake up and see with your own eyes what the fuck is going on in your world, do u want to be happy or sad, it’s ur choice too. Only u care if u r happy. And me. Lol. I don’t want any woman to go through what I have.

I am not ur secret Dave. The only right u had to me was to love me.



The minute u start letting someone else have control of ur life – that’s the minute ur heart has stopped



I never had a chance against a well groomed monster like Dave



Or does nothing matter? Nothing is real? At the end . . .it is just that – the end and the only thing that matters is that u could figure this out before it is too late – to have happiness, ur happiness, just for u to enjoy and fill ur life with incredible happy moments that will take u hopefully to the next, that if there is a next; to be able to learn, grow, not stay with such primitive hate like Dave, but to be more. So u better decide one way or another to be happy or sad because that is all that matters right now, is u feeling happy again, strong again. U can’t let his pain, his hate keep controlling u, that’s what u r doing when u give up.

Be happy with what is or change what is or shut up. Lol. Right? Can’t complain if u don’t make changes for urself. Decide right now, to be happy or sad, who do u want to be? Do u want to be angry and hate or happy and fuck! Lol. To put it in the shortest form possible. Lol. Once u know u r being abused and u stay, once u realize and u stay – it is now ur fault that u r unhappy. The choice came to u to stay or leave and u heard it – and u choice to stay, it is now u that put the last nail in ur coffin. Don’t let them win, they r the pieces of shit not u. It is all lies from them. That’s all they know, that’s all they can feel. They r monsters not men. So what is it going to be? It doesn’t matter what happened to u when it comes to u wanting or being happy again– because it is u that has to decide to let him win, to let the monster win or fight back and make urself whole, better, stronger, educated, powerful. Who do u want to be – only his dog? Or r u so much more!! Ladies u have to find a way to heal urself so u can get back to being happy or u will stay sad like ur abuser wants u to. Now u decide. Find ur inner strength that has ur happiness.

If it all doesn’t matter, look at it this way – if it all doesn’t matter and yet Dave u still choose to abuse me every day instead of love me – that is ur hate, that is all on u. Again, take a good luck Dave at what u r too, what u have become – a “man” that will never be loved – never. At least I have a chance. And I’ll take that any day over the abuse u gave me. It is somewhat satisfying to know that u can never feel love because u don’t deserve it, u deserve to stay in ur hate forever in this and if there is a next. Me, I want to explore possibilities of my life, have enjoyment in mine – not ur abuse Dave, not ur hate. That is so primitive in wanting to be. lol lol. That is all u can be Dave – the past, the past generation of abusers that have so much to be ashamed for. And you think your dic don’t stink!! Why is it Dave that u think u can abuse anyone? Who in the fuck r u? U r just a male with limp dic at that. What is it about having a dic that all of a sudden makes u think ur god? Ur not god; u sit far from being a god, from being admired. Only other abusers like u Dave like u. And that will only take u so far. Hate can only give u hate. U can only stay as u r with hate, u cannot grow, love, or be loved. U might be smarter than me Dave but I sure as fuck don’t want to be u. How consuming ur hate must be. Look at how much life u lost – even though u think u where having fun abusing me – but it’s also time u had to spend to give to ur hate instead of doing something even more fun for u. So I might have been – past – ur dog but at least I’m not hate’s bitch like u Dave. Lol lol. U always have to have an angle or “play ur fucked up game” with other abusers. What moments have u missed – with ur family – well u don’t really care about ur family or u wouldn’t treat them like this, how about ur friends Dave – right, u don’t have any because u r always playing people so u can be the top predator and because u r afraid someone is always gonna play u. And to love – well we see what u do with that. And u can’t even see this? So does that make me smarter than u in this point? That even u – such a good predator, a good monster, failed to see how he has wasted his own life?? Lol lol. GOOD. But at least I will overcome ur shit and ur abuse and ur hate. And u will be left to sit in ur own filth with ur limp dic to keep u company. Lol lol. Maybe I’m not smarter than u Dave but I’m stronger than ur abuse. And what Dave u couldn’t fight me on a more level playing field? U fucks have to cheat to even win against women? Oh yeh big strong man u are – not. The past Dave – that is all u r – where u will stay and this is the moment that I grow, that I get to be happy again – while u stay with ur hate and keep wasting ur life as hate’s bitch. Or is this now u becoming my bitch too? Lol lol!  Big Smile!!



Or maybe it does matter how u look at things because an abuser does.

They will keep hurting, abusing u if they can – if u keep letting them. That’s all they know. See, they r primitive. They hurt us – you forgive them – they hurt us again. It won’t stop unless u stop it. Fuckrrs. They play on ur forgiveness to be able to keep abusing us. Fuckrrs. We keep forgiving them like their stupid dogs. Oh yeh, we r their stupid dogs. Did u ever see when an abuser comes near his actual dog or animal they own? How the animal cowards to them and especially how that animal is in sheer fear of him when he puts his hand towards the animal, how it reacts in trying to cover itself from him hitting the animal again. Hello.  U r his animal, his dog. Look at the fear he has placed in u. This is another way they keep u as their dog. If it’s all psychology and we r grouped into only so many categories, hey assholes so r u!!!!!!!! And it pisses me off because this information is out there with all the smart people and they don’t even care about helping women to stop being abused, raped. If I can figure this out, why haven’t these so called smart people, educated people, why aren’t they helping instead of just using us too. How r u any better than those abusers? U need the circle of abuse to continue so u have a job, u don’t care if abuse really ends because u have never been that dog, u have never had ur life taken from u. Whatever. All this shows me is that u better get strong, u better get tough, because there r more assholes than good people out there. And that is sad to me, that I can’t live in my world where there is love, even if it’s only a chance for. It is ur hate, ur abusers hate, quit making it mine. It is u that is less, I am wanting to be more. If this is what greed, money does to u, if this is what our future is, a playground for asshole men and women that won’t help each other, then nothing really does matter, not even family anymore. I was around 10 when my mother told me that she didn’t love me because I was a girl, because I was born a girl and not a son. Funny, I could feel that, it’s like I already knew that. And I didn’t get mad, I tried to please my father so much, I tried to show my father that I am so useful, that I can do all the work on the farm just like my brothers, that I can learn and get good grades, but their abuse onto me was so bad I had to even run away to try and be heard. Just because I was born a girl in a home that already was abusive – I never had a chance. But I kept believing in Hope, in Love, in love for me. But I see know that I have always been and still always was my fathers’ dog, I didn’t get away, his power still controlled me, how I behaved. And I didn’t see, but I sure as fuck do now. My father punished me more for trying to be better, for trying to even think I could leave, than if I would have just stayed and been his dog, forever. Either way my father would have punished me, either way. And then u add Dave on top of all of that, Dave, how he kept my fathers’ abuse going onto me because that is the game. That is how other abusers know how to find those to abuse, we r that category. Daughters marry those like their fathers. I never could understand that, I was always like not a chance, but u don’t see or understand all the mental, psychology abuse that ur father did to u to prime u, to get u ready for ur future of being abused. Fuckrrs. And yet u judge me, don’t help me, just use me, abuse me. How for so long it has been the woman to always be blamed. Fuck U!! Where is ur blame for abusing me, for looking the other way. Where is your blame mom for letting ur own daughter be abused by the same man that is abusing u? Where is ur soul? If u would have stood up against him – I wouldn’t have to and I would have my life as mine – not as a dog for abusers. U get no forgiveness for not doing the only thing that u r supposed to and that is protect ur children – all of them, even the daughters. And yet everyone thinks that these abusers r such Big Men. Fuck, this is what they do. So to my bitch now, Dave u got 35 mins to get over and deliver my hot “pizza” and u better be wearing nothing when I open the door! I want to be excited by u, not the other way around. Tick Tock. Hurry Up! Now ur my dog, my bitch. How does it feel? Who cares what u think Dave – just hurry up – Tick Tock.

The only thing that matters is r u a good person or do you like to hurt others. It’s that simple. That’s the bottom line. Do u respect ur family, friends, love; or do u take and abuse the ones you say u love and care. I’m not ur secret Dave, I’m not here to be ur play thing anymore. U choice to abuse me Dave when u also had that same choice to love me or let me go. U had no right to make me ur property. Ur such a fuckin asshole. U had no right to abuse me. U choose to abuse me no matter what it did to me. U failed Dave, u failed in life; in ur life. All u r is ur father.




Dearest Dave,   

All u wanted was to get “off” on abusing me. Did u think that was my dream to have u abuse me or love me u fuck. I didn’t need u but u sure as fuck needed me, u needed to abuse me to benefit ur life u fuck. That ur hate Dave, it wasn’t worth a moment in my life but it has been everything to u. Do u still watch me? U didn’t think I saw u sitting in ur truck – or is that part of abusing me? – because I never said anything to u about it and u know that I would have seen u and didn’t say anything? – more abuse from u – u fuck, more manipulation to keep me as ur dog. Because I didn’t say anything? How fuckin dare u Dave. What fuckin right do u think u have to harm me in any way. So that u can hear me Dave

I do see you Dave – I Do See You – I Do See What You Are

R u starting to see me

I am more than just a real live hole for ur limp dic – 10 years of so so sex, well for me – it was amazing for u Dave - right, being able to make someone lick ur dic must be empowering to be a fuckin piece of shit. I HOPE I TAKE THAT POWER AWAY.

It was ur secret – not mine

 Ladies – be strong or be a dog. Be strong for ur children – they depend on u to do the right thing

Maybe the question we should be asking is

Why Are Men So Afraid Of Women? Why Do They Try To Keep Us Oppressed?

Maybe if we saw our strength it is them that worry they would be the dogs – they would become victims of their own hate. (bitches – I prefer that to dog, Dave what do u think, who cares what u think right, isn’t that how u treat us

I didn’t hate u Dave – it was ur hate u put onto me, it was u that choose to abuse me instead of even to be just a friend, it is u Dave that needs to be ashamed, to see what u did to me.

Ladies you have to heal urself, how much more of ur life do u want to waste to these fucks? It will take time, and don’t get upset with urself that u should be doing better already, U R DOING BETTER ALREADY!!! Just keep the pace, relax and start wondering what u can do with ur love now, how do u want to be now, strong, to love myself, to have someone love me and with who I am, with my quirks, lol lol, to be HAPPY.

When I realized I was being abused by Dave, Dave Wright owner of A1 Rentals and Party Store, u can’t even imagine the pain I felt. To be thought of only as a hole for Dave’s dic, it broke me, Dave knew of some of the things my father did to me and yet he still choose to abuse me every day for 10 years, this what monsters will do, they don’t care, they don’t even care about their own family. So, Dave choose to abuse me even more, every day he woke up thinking how can I abuse her instead of how can I love her. WTF!! And then to see that I haven’t gotten away from my father – I was still his dog too. This happened because I kept their secrets, their secrets not mine. Their abuse to me. I want to smile, I want to enjoy not being abused.

If this world is just a piece of shit for loser abusers, for assholes – then it’s time ladies to gain our strength for our children or we will never be able to have anything.




If you have to abuse me – then you are no man

Love the one u r with.





If all you do is kick your dog; then that is all that you can do with your dog.





And u r not alone

That is how u have been made to feel – alone – so u wouldn’t say anything. It’s part of how an abuser controls u. so u would be made to keep their secret. It’s their shame, not urs. Find ur strength. Find ur freedom.




Dearest Dave

U have no right to take my life from me

U have no right to abuse me

I am more than just a real love hole for ur limp dic

I am a survivor of Famine Genocide

I am a survivor of my Mother’s abuse

I am a survivor of my Father’s abuse

I am a survivor of my Husband’s abuse

I am a survivor of ur abuse Dave

This is my strength – who in the fuck r u to hurt me, to take MY LIFE from ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


If everything is a test – look at how u have failed Dave. Karma. Lol.

“The Limp D”

Ladies remember – to laugh while u gain ur strength. Don’t let them take any more moments from u. who cares if they want to waste their time on earth. There is so much learning and living to do! and of course finding someone that will love u with love not their own hate.




I don’t feel like I just turned __ - lol! I feel like I’m still 40. I hope I get to feel this for as long as I can! Ladies tere is so much better things to feel than to be with a man that only wants to hurt u ; so much better things to feel than a limp dic ! lol. Remember to laugh, remember to smile just even for urself. Don’t let an abuser in ur life, and if u have, RUN. U control ur own life, ur own destiny, ur own fate. Once u know – what decision I make – to stay or run – will be on me. And you on u.

If everything is a test . . .

- and I don’t mean god or who ever’s god. I mean ur own spirituality – within urself, ur self respect.

If every decision u make leads u to the next decision u have to make . . .

Every decision has consequences, every consequence has regrets, regrets r the decisions u didn’t take ( when u have let urself down)

So find ur strength. Find ur own happiness. Don’t let an abuser make u think u don’t deserve it. U do!




When u now – or start to see that what it is, what all of it is, is for self-respect, self-growth, that this is UR journey, that life is to be happy, and that u better grab hold of it and enjoy it instead of having some loser take it all away from u!! Fuck U DAVE!! Look at all u owe me – and it’s not the other way around!! U Fuck!! And the fact that I can see this shows how u never deserved me Dave, how dare u hurt me, who in the fuck r u? Just a lonely old man that can only be a bully, that doesn’t know how to be happy so he doesn’t want anyone else to be. What a capital L loser !! See Dave, u really have wasted all ur life with UR HATE. And I think that’s all u deserve, well, if u can’t see past ur own hate, what the fuck is it that u think then that u deserve? U deserve Dave, how u have treated us. Deserve to keep feeling UR HATE, it’s u that thinks that UR HATE is so powering. But, I am stronger than UR HATE – so – look at how weak u r Dave, look at how less u r, even from my eyes.

Ladies – love urself enough to see how beautiful u r even though they made u believe u were not.

Either help me grow or get the fuck out of MY way of MY journey!  Lol lol – the short version!!! Lol lol

Ladies u won’t believe how happy u can be by not keeping their secrets!! By starting to undo their hate they put on u!! This they do not want u to see or to feel. This is what u need to see, to feel. Be FREE!!




Dearest Dave

I didn’t give up on life Dave, u did

Instead of trying to steal my light from me – u should have helped me  shine!!


Big Smile!!!!!!!



I’m here to help YOU be strong!! To remind u of ur strength that u have had all along!


Get Mad – well our mad, lol, believe in urself

Get Tough – demand respect

Demand What U Need



Become MORE; especially when they don’t want u to be!!



I want to see what I can do - -

Not how u can hurt me




Dearest Dave

I want to see what I can do

Not how u can hurt me Dave;

I was ur test and u couldn’t see;

Just ur hate and greed Dave




Dearest Dave

I don’t need ur oppression –

I can live without it  !!!!!!!

Fuck you Dave

Fuck u for being so less.




I don’t want to fix the world-

I want to change it !!




And if all of this pain is part of my journey

Then I better learn from it –

So I can be better, be more;

So u can see, it is in u too




The decisions we make

unfortunately can last a lifetime –

Make ur decisions carefully-

Don’t let an abuser take ur lifetime

away from u


If u don’t say that their abuse is not wanted – why would they stop






And there is no point in being mad

Ur just wasting more time

But things need to be said

Things need to change




The only lesson we need to learn is

That I am not better than u and u r not better than me

U have no right to abuse me


We need each other to succeed or we all fail. We might have tech advances but how we live towards each other is still very primitive.

We r still living in caves.

We r still cave men – beating another over the head so he can take advantage of everything.


It’s not the strongest that will survive

It’s the strongest that will destroy the world


An abuser still acts like a fuckin primitive caveman, like what the fuck? It’s u guys holding back the world to evolve. To be better. maybe we could have found some of the greatest answers to the greatest questions – but ur so fuckin greedy – u think u have all the answers. F u.

Where u guys not paying attention when everyone else was evolving and u abusers want to live in ur father’s regrets. Not to succeed from ur own past. U abusers think ur father gave u a gift of how to treat people, how to manipulate. But it’s ur curse. He stole ur life from u! unless that’s all u really want to do is to abuse women, to abuse ur family, friends? And to be alone in ur thoughts, in ur dreams. U can’t even share anything about urself Dave – and yet u think this is the best u can be - - abuse the ones u say u love and pay homage to the almighty filthy dollar. Then u wonder why ur dic stinks!! Like what the fuck, this is what u choose to be??? look at my choice-now that I finally have one. U fuck.

Do u see me yet Dave?

Do u see how much u owe me-

That u have taken from my life-


It’s time ladies to collect

It’s time to take that stand- even if our own abusers would rather we not. Even if our own fathers, brothers. This is where it starts. Look at what they are taking from u. they r taking YOU. Unfortunately it’s u that has to take that first stand by urself. But if we all learn to stand together – then we r not alone.


It’s how u look at things-through who’s eyes r u looking through? Start to see through ur own eyes. Make those tough decisions – but those decisions shouldn’t be tough as they r for u !!!

Be who u r always meant to be





We must always remember to laugh, smile, be happy within ourselves; even when it is the hardest thing to do; especially when it is the hardest thing to do




I am No One, and I am You


I have a voice that needs to be heard, that is stronger than abuse

I was born from abuse

I grew in abuse

Yet all I want is to be loved.

But . . .

U loser abusers don’t want us to learn how to play ur game by ur rules – what if we win – will u then learn how to be a man or stay and abuse?


U should be so ashamed when u abuse those u say u love





How am I supposed to heal myself in a pandemic. How am I supposed to not feel worthless in a pandemic. Now that I know that I have been abused my whole life. I stated writing this for the only reason that if I die before I wake . . . Remember Covid just started, we didn’t know what was going on, what is going to happen. And I get lucky enough to realize that I have been abused, treated like a dog, less than a dog, to a man named David Wright, owner of A1 Rentals and Party Store right here in Regina. And if I was to die, I didn’t want noone to know what he did to me, what he took from me, that we need to be strong for ourselves even if we have to go against those that say they love us. Especially when it is those that say they love us. I couldn’t be happy with myself if I didn’t try to help someone else not to go through the pain that I did. If I could help even one person, that is what would matter, at least my life would have at least some value, even though I am not to have any, even though my abusers don’t want me to feel, or even think that I am worth more than being their dog. I think I could have done without this part of my journey, but I guess then it wouldn’t be my journey. For me to see, for me to learn, for me to be. But before I could even start my journey, I had to stand up for myself, I had to learn to love myself even though it was the hardest thing I ever done, to have self-love, to have self-respect. I was never taught that, only how to be a dog for an abuser. My father, my mother, raised me to be worthless, to know nothing, to be stupid, to have a life of pain, of their pain, of their hate that they put onto me. And by keeping their secrets of what they did to me, that allowed me to never see, to never be free from their hate, to never be me. I thought I got away from my father, but in seeing, in learning, in growing, I see that I did not, as long as I kept their secret of shame that they made me feel was my shame. It wasn’t my shame, it was there’s. It’s a way of control. And the fact that it was my parents makes it so much worse as to how pathetic they r as all that they can be, all that they can see, is to just harm, not love. I always thought I was adopted, lol, because I always felt that I didn’t belong. And I knew that I didn’t feel loved, not the way they were supposed to, but for whatever reason I hung onto that hope, that someday I would get love, be loved, not abused, not hurt, only worth value when I am being a “good girl”. For the only reason that I was born a girl, the first daughter in the house, I was the one abused, maybe even more than my mother, because at least she had the love of her parents, I didn’t even get that.

By not keeping their secrets – I get to be free. WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT IS SO TRUE!!!

And by looking in the mirror, being honest with myself so I CAN SEE ME, I discovered that Dave was able to abuse me because he knew the signs, the signals that we give off, he knew he could abuse me and get away with it. He knew it didn’t matter if he abused me because I didn’t matter, because I was raised for this purpose and Dave knew that. He read me. I realized that I was just a category. But then I realized that so was he. And if I can see this, if I can learn this, what else am I not seeing, what else do I need to see. What else has my parents and their abuse taken from me.

U thought Dave that I would never figure it out and so it didn’t matter what u did to me because I would never see – U FUCK. I figured it out, so know what, where is my prize – ur game, ur rules, there is always a prize. And if everything is just a game and that nothing matters, and this is what u choice to be Dave, this is all u could be? Knowing all this, and this is all u can be Dave, a loser abuser. That’s all u can think of to be? Then u r not as smart as u think, that is what I see. U thought that I would never figure it out because I am so stupid, then doesn’t that also make it so worse for u in what u did to me because u thought I am so stupid and it won’t matter what u do to me, that u can do whatever u want and that it won’t matter. Well it does matter, I do see, and I see how much u owe me. U still choose to abuse me when u didn’t have to, u choose to abuse me day after day year after year because u didn’t care what u did to me. This I know. Now u know that I know Dave. So f*ck u and all ur “intelligence”; all ur hate. Look at all that u owe me Dave, and I don’t want ur pathetic dic, that’s no prize for me. I knew Dave that u would never give up ur money. I knew that because I know how an abuser thinks, or I am starting to realize what it is that I all know. I knew that u wouldn’t give up any of ur filthy greedy dollars that u even took from ur family, lol, and I used that for my benefit, for me. I played ur game on u. I knew u would never give up even one dollar, and I didn’t want even one dollar, but so I can say what I need to say. I knew ur greed just like u knew u could abuse me. But at least I gave u a choice Dave, what choice did u give me for u to abuse me or to let me run away from u. U took my choice away from me. U FUCK. I see. I see what u r, and ur just a piece of shit pretending to be a man, pretending to be a father, pretending to be a husband, pretending to be a friend. I want my prize Dave.

I always thought I got away from my father, but I see that I didn’t. I see that while growing up in that household how he manipulated me and how he was actually training me to be a real live hole for other abusers. This is what happens to ur daughter if u let her be abused by her father. All I did wrong was to be born a girl. All I could wish for was to be loved, to keep that hope, because that is all that I had. But in keeping my father’s secrets of what he did, that allowed me to stay as his abused dog, it kept me his. The condensed version -  I ran away after my father almost beat me to death, while my mother watched. Right in the family kitchen. But then circumstances, and I also believed or I had hoped is more proper now, that he had changed with time pasted. But they hadn’t. Then I realized that I had to get as far away from my father and mother as I could. Not all parents love their children, and not all parents love all their children. And I loved mine. But I didn’t have money, and my father kept his money over me, so he could help. It was no fuckin help. It just kept me there. I had gotten back early one day and I saw my father abusing my daughter while my mother watched. I couldn’t understand, I stalled, I couldn’t even think. The only thing that I could think of to do was to run. I went to the police and they told me that I would have to let my daughter who was not even in school yet, she would have to testify and in front of him. I couldn’t let that happen to her, I didn’t want her to think that this was her fault in any way. I didn’t want her to feel that she was less because of what he did to her. So we moved and I hoped that they would leave us alone. I separated myself from the rest of the family so that my children would be safe. For awhile it was just his trying to get back into our lives by telling us what ever lie that would work, but I knew that there was no going back, what he did there was no excuse, and for him to act the way he was I knew he didn’t feel sorry, just sorry that he got caught. Then things increased. He would stalk my house, watch us, he would go to my daughter’s school, pretend to be the good grandpa, he would give my daughter expensive gifts (and don’t tell mom!) and nothing for my son – he didn’t want my son, just my daughter. Once I realized what was going on, as I knew that he was coming to regina on a work outing I wrote to his employer Sask Power(my father had a higher position), of his doings while he was on their work place trip. Things seemed to get back to normal as I knew that my father would not give up even one dollar to a piece of shit woman even his daughter. I hoped that it would be the end of having to deal with his shit. But he just did things sneakier. I didn’t see. And I have blamed myself for not being stronger against him. For not being stronger for my children. I couldn’t tell my children why we couldn’t see grandma and grandpa and because of that they were able to get into our lives and destroyed our lives because of his enormous hate that my father has, that my father had to manipulate my daughter and that my father manipulated my son so  he felt he was worthless.

This is what happens when u let ur husband abuse ur children. When u let a abuse into ur home. And if everything is all a game and nothing matters – but u still choose to abuse when then u didn’t have to then – u could have choose then also not to abuse as it wouldn’t matter if u did abuse, so then that is really who u want to be then, u choose to abuse over to not abuse when it doesn’t even matter by ur rules by ur game by ur thought process. So, father, mother, fuck u. I am not keeping ur pain, ur secrets of what u did to me. U had a choice to love me or abuse me, u choose wrong. As my father knew I didn’t have money, while I was still living out of the city, about 40 mins out, my father as he was so mad already at me for trying to protect my children, he came to my house and offered me $150,000 to buy my daughter Samantha –Jo. Only her he didn’t want my son. Anyways, that’s a whole other issue he has. I guess he thought that I could be bought like others in the family, like my sister, that I would sell my daughter and that I would sell her to him, her abuser. Like what the fuck. I guess he thought that that was a lot of money and that I would be weak and take it. But I didn’t. And that was the last time I was in contact with my father and mother.

 I didn’t want his filthy money Dave and I don’t want urs. But I am owed. But it’s what I want as restitution that I will take.

As kids we heard the story of how my father and mother met, they made it sound like such a love story, but it wasn’t. My father is 17 years older than my mother. They met as my father was my mother’s school bus driver as they lived on a farm. My mother was 13 years old at the time. Creepy. He would pick her up and drop her off every day, smiling at her, telling her how cute she was, that it will be a fun secret to go out with me. He was a grown man manipulating a child!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No wonder my uncles beat him the fuck up. They were trying to keep him after from her and their family. I was born from abuse, I grew in abuse, and none of it was mine, and yet I never had a chance to even be free, to be happy, to live. And then Dave abused me, over and over, year after year, raping me, not loving me. It wasn’t love, he knew he was raping me, every time, he knew he didn’t love me, he didn’t even care what it would do to me. Because what did it matter, I have no value. So u think. But if I can see this, doesn’t it make me smarter or I guess that’s not the word, don’t I get to advance to the next level of the game? I am still learning and I see that u were never worthy of me and that u had to abuse me to have me – u wouldn’t have had me any other way. And now it’s my rules my game.

Mothers are the last line of defense for their children!!




What do u see

If this is all that u think that there is,

that life is what it is –

then that is all that u will see.

And that’s a possibility.

But if u think or want to believe, or do believe in more –

then anything and everything can be a



How do u see

What do u see

And no one can be wrong

That is what I see

Tell me what u see  




I didn’t see the value I had in me

Just think of all of urs!!

I see it

The more you shine –

The more u can be - -

Believe it to be true- for it is.

Believe in u.




Why do u have to be told when u know u r abusing me –

Is that another way u get to keep abusing me?




When u go through ur whole life so far and then see how stupid that it is that u r, not smart, just stupid – or if u want to soften it naïve.

How can a man like Dave can treat u like garbage, and it doesn’t matter, it didn’t matter to Dave because he knew I was stupid. Dave knew that I would never figure it out, so why would it matter to Dave if all he wants to do to me is abuse me, I will never figure it out, I will never know. So ehat does it matter what u do to me Dave as this is why my father raised me to be, to be a slave to asshole men – compliments of my father.

I do not need more “not helping’ shit, tell me so I know.

How can I learn if no one tells me and how am I to know if no one protects me.




Don’t think about how u feel when something happens- that doesn’t matter to learn, don’t focus on that, u already know how u feel, how it made u feel instead

Wonder Why

Why did it happen

Why would they want it to happen and what does that mean to them – and what does that mean to u

What is it that u learned about u

What is it that u learned about them

R they kind through their eyes or what is it they r hiding. How is it they r hurting u – did they have to

Did they have to hurt u. That should be the first question now – not the last

Believe in urself

Have self-respect self-love. Why would they not want u to have that.




Dearest Dave; to all loser abusers

It’s all about who u can pretend to be

That’s all loser abusers that’s all that they see- that’s all they can be- if loser abusers have to face what others see they will not be able to be.

It’s so simple- just stop- just stop Dave – stop ur hate and then u can look to see – what ur family is waiting is needing for u to be – this is ur chance Dave to be a man – to finally deserve what u will see, to finally be. I am no longer waiting for u to see or to finally be – our journey is no longer I see, I have none of ur hate for u to keep me.

I see u

I see what u r

And f u

And I’m telling all ur secrets of how to abuse.

I’m protecting us, protecting those u abuse, for those to see their own strength, their own power and that women can act as one strength one force to protect families, to protect those we love from ur abuse.

If u don’t want to step up and be a Man U loser abusers, if u don’t want ot step up and be a man Dave – then step down and get the fck out of our way – u should be so ashamed - - u fckers made me –

Now deal with it

I can see u

I see what u r

Do u see me – do u see me now-

What do u fckers see now – r u afraid we can learn to see what u do to us




Everything is a test and it’s not

About what god u put ur faith to

It’s about being abused or not

It’s about being strong or not

It’s about seeing

It’s about believing in u

It’s about ur journey for u to see

It’s not to not be

It’s not to not see

It’s to learn but to share what u learn

So others can be


Look at all that u owe me Dave,

Daddy dearest

Look at all that I can see

Look at all that I will share so that

U can not be

So Abusers r weak not the abused




Dearest Daddy; Dearest Dave

This is what u made me to be.

This is what u wanted me to see.

To see how strong u r over me- but that is not what I see.

I see how nothing u r and I see how not to be afraid of u- and how to be- even stronger than what u think u to be.

And it is u that made me

It has always been u afraid of me

Because u can see me – because u had made me

It is u afraid of me – that’s what I see

Because u know of what u did to me and u thought I would never see and would never be able to say




I have been alone my whole life

My whole life I have been alone

But now I don’t feel alone

I have me





Once u realize that if u see only sadness and despair then that is all that u will see. But if u can be able to see that even that isn’t even reality. That’s it is just one reality – just one reality that’s of urs – of how many other realities of urs to see – if u can understand how u see – then u can understand how to see all ur realities – and to be all ur realities.

Holy shit

Tell me I’m crazy, lol lol

What do u see. Tell me what u see, please

(I’m sorry I jumped a few steps from how I got here, but I hope to say; but I need to know why I see this  and if it’s just me.

And I don’t feel crazy. And I think I see why to some things that I shouldn’t see or that I, especially me, lol lol, right,  I shouldn’t be able to see this, to think this, so then I have to wonder is it just me, is it just me learning what u already know, and that this is how far behind I am? In learning what I would have known if I wasn’t abused?  ( is a way to reach me )

.  .  .  .  .

Is this how far I am behind? - It is how far I am behind for me in my realities to be all as one

For me to be as one


.  .  .  .  .


To Be Happy Through The Eyes That U See

It doesn’t matter how u want to look at things, what u believe to be the world, we all will see it different – It’s not sharing what we can see – because we too at the same time don’t know.

 No one knows.

But it makes me happier to believe in so much more than to only be a real live hole for men to abuse me, rape me, and realizing my father never loved me.

What do you think you would see – if you were me

Hate?  or To Always Want To Be Happy




I went through this pain

And I’m sharing it with you

So you can see

So we all can be



So you can be part of it

So you can see

What you need to be

So you can be



It’s for us all to see!!

But especially me, thankful I’m free, thankful I get to see

And able to say,

So you get to see to be



It’s for us all to see!!

To see us all to be





I always thought

I only wanted to believe

It was for only 10 yrs that Dave

Abused me

That the first 4 yrs he loved me,

but that was just me

Seeing through me

And not seeing as he.

14 yrs of my life abused

Abused by Dave for 14 yrs

14 yrs gone by

14 yrs of me to never be




.  .  .

14 yrs gone by



In every Reality




When I was a little girl

I would look up to the stars and


Now to look up

To have no dreams no wonder

Now beaten and broken

A little girl looks up to see

Not anymore any star

To gaze upon and dream


Protect everyone from abuse

Abuse is not for anyone

Everyone deserves to smile and to

be Free

Free to dream Free to be




I was always told I have no value

I was Made and to believe I had no value in me

But it was them that didn’t want me to see

That it was them

That had no value to be




Hear The Words

Hear The Songs

Hear The Cries

Hear The Love


What music do u see

What music is ur tune

What music comforts u

What music moves u


Who do u want to be

Who do u want to love

What songs will u sing

What words will u say




Two lovers are supposed to be . . . . .


A wife and husband is supposed to be

Of extra friend of more – of soul – of energy

For each other to see

For each to always be

Never alone, never without energy

To feel always love

From those that are to do

To have that special friend to feel,

of their soul of their energy to

Not to slave to steal

The other to use


A wife and wife is supposed to be . . . . .

A husband and husband is supposed to be . . . . .

A friend is supposed to be . . . . .

Family is supposed to be . . . . .

You are supposed to be . . . . .

You need to feel for you to be

For you to be you need to see




What u did to me

I did not see

Now I see

What u did to me,

What u choose for me

To take from me


What do I

Choose of u

To take from u

That u will not see

What I will do to u


Whether I choose to do

It won’t matter to u

Because u will not see

What I will do to u


What does it matter to u

What I do

When it doesn’t matter if u


What u took of me

I take from u

Then I am complete

For me not for u


What does it matter to u

If u do not see

What even I do to u

What does it matter to even u

If I’m just being u


Then it is Nothing that I am doing to u

As I am u

Being u to u


Now it’s u that can’t see so we can be

And will share with those that see

Just like what u did to me

So they can see to be u

So they can be complete

And not for u


What does it matter to u

U cannot see

Because now I am u- u r me

And u r not to see

To see how easy it is to be u

To be Nothing

To be as u,

To be a monster as u

As u only can be

As u only can see

Nothing is u


But I see more

More than u can see

As primitive is only u can be

U r at start of what can be

I am More and

More I will see

Of More that can be

More than what only u can see

As u only primitive u  can be


U choose to only be

What only everyone can be,

What’s our start is not only of

what I dream,

I am More than even u can see

More of what u can dream


I was here for u to see

That it was u to see not for me

That it is about being More

More for you More for me

More than how we started –

That is our destiny


It is u that cannot see

As I am Free – I can be

As I am Free

I can dream of all to be

To be complete to be me

To become my Destiny


I get to be complete with me

As u can only pretend to be


Nothing is all u can be

Because Nothing is only what u see

It is u not Free

It is u that cannot see


That it’s My Destiny You See!

As Nothing u can only be




It’s such a cool feeling

It’s so cool to feel

To even to know

To try and to see

To always see – To always be




Make Better Decisions Always

It’s how your Journey will be!!




The easiest way to be happy is if u say u r going to do something – do it. Or lol. Tell urself u better lol lol. Otherwise that energy gets turned into negative energy and we don’t want that – and I say this as we become either hard on ourselves for not doing something that we said we were gonna – u must not do that to urself. Make a decision and be happy with it. If u say to urself that u want to loose weight – if u fall – don’t scold urself even more – u already did that. Lol. So now be fine with it and tell urself to do better for the rest of the day – or sulk or eat even more – have even more negative energy. It’s done, it happened, move on. Lol. U caved. Lol. But that’s okay. But now - - if u tell urself to do better for the rest of the day and u don’t – then that’s on u and u will have to start all over again. Well, not really all over again – where u stopped. Do u see!! U have to be happy with ur me too!!

(Do u get it – lol- it’s so cool!)

Make better decisions always –

It’s for your journey!!




What my father did to me

He did to my mother

What my mother didn’t see

What my father did so he can be

To all that she born

Because all for him

To become all for him

His legacy to become

For only him to be more

By abusing and taking

He thought this was his destiny

(To be a fuckrr)

But it only shows

How little he knows


If u r unsure of what is going on in ur life –stop- look in the mirror

and ask urself


r u being loved – the way u want


And then get ready to see

All that u can be

When u see urself

As u truely r

And to see that it is not what u r to be

It is more u want

More u want to be


Grab ahold of urself

And show urself love

The love that u want

So others can see

U r more

More than what ur father made u

To believe

More than what ur father told u to believe


It is u that is more

It is u that can see

How not to be


The knowledge to know that we all can abuse and the

Knowledge to know that we all can be more

If we choose





For things to change

Things need to change




Because that’s our fear

That’s what we will be afraid of




My father raised me to be a hole for men

What did ur father raise u to be




If you stop in your journey in

believing in you

Your journey stops where you

stopped believing in you




Imagine all that you can do

If u didn’t have someone abusing you




It doesn’t matter what you believe

As long as you believe in yourself

And believe that you are free




Dearest Daddy/Dearest David


For you to hurt your own family tree your own bloodline

How stupid do you have to be




If you lie to yourself

You will never find yourself




Dearest Dave/Dearest Daddy


What you didn’t want me to see

Was to see me





Always believe in more for yourself

Never less




It is your journey

For you to see

For you to be


It is your journey

For you to see

For you to be free












Quotes to Post


If we only look through our own eyes – we can never see the pain we do

that we cause



Don’t be so hard on yourself – your job is to Always love yourself – not be mad at yourself – not hurt yourself - - ? why would you hurt yourself – your own brain, your mind, to think to not think? You are always supposed to love yourself.

 - - if you are loved, you know to love yourself, - - this you know - - you maybe can’t explain - - and maybe only because no one ever asked you before!! This is what we need to share - - to be more - - is to think of yourself as more- - - not just as no one. - - self-love

To put your own self down - - now you are doing the work for them - - abuse complete


to become what we started – pure energy – not of another’s hate and greed


what is a fckrr? What do you see?

who is weak? Who do you see?

Who is strong? Who do you see?

And all is wrong - -

Because we are all of those things



-There is only one reason why you did that to me – to make me feel less - - to feel you.  - - and I am sorry that I didn’t always see - - - to believe in myself - - so then you can - - -


-for women to be strong – for men to be strong – this is what we need to see how to be –to not throw away your life – your journey – and then to have nothing but regrets and shame. – because if you feel bad for what you do – then that is what you were not supposed to do –


-the end prize – is getting to be


-to complete my circles – for me – to be free –For me to heal me – to stop the circles of abuse – of what was done to me – that continues after in your head. Then for you to see how to heal yourself –then how to be you – for you – and for forever




-2019 vancouver police Tiffany Hill – senator Lynda Wilson

 – why are we still property? – why isn’t the judge charged with manslaughter, or even neglect – his decision set the course of events. – telling men in essence that women are still property – because is that this judge? – views women as property? – is this what this judge is telling other men - - – he is letting these men one last attempt to fulfill their wishes – in abusing their victim one last time. – this is what the judge does for abuser men.

– for women - - This is what the judge does for women- - - allowing women to still be property; and we should be thankful he is allowing the victims to have one last view of their children – of whom we are fighting for                                            – Abusers only fight for themselves –

If the laws are prejudice against being other than you - - - then they are not laws - - only your rules against me and not you




-don’t waste your life – not even for an abuser –

No matter who he is – Family, lover or friend

Because an abuser is none of the above-

An abuser is a monster that you cannot see –

An abuser you don’t want to know – to never meet –

stay on your journey – that is what an abuser needs you not to do –

it is an abuser that is worthless- because an abuser can only abuse –

that is all that they can see  how to do – it is them that are worthless -

not you


-you have to be you – that Is the only way we can get to be – to be ourselves – free


When you abuse – you are here nor there- your energy is neither – you stop to exist – unless you look and see – your life is not even you living it – you are not moving it - - forward only reverse - -


-every time you stress – it is stress on your journey –

Every time you are hard on yourself – it is you not loving you –



-always be humble – and do not worry – not stress – that’s negative energy – it will work against you –


-the kitty philosophy


-so, what dave, because u failed and couldn’t rule me - - even ur father can’t be proud of u  - - if you want to look at it like that - - -lol MF !! lol !! do you see - - my two fingers !!!!! looking at you !!!!! lol see how easy it is to be you - - to be less. - -

-To be less – is so easy - - when you know how to be more

When you know how to be more - - why would you want to be less



To have a father and then to not have a father - - Is my father’s shame



Always ask yourself - - why - - -why are you worrying about that? - - - why? - - what is the reason? - - not just because

What does it stop you from doing?????????? That is the why to the question what - - -

What was done to me - - - -

Why is the day the day - - and the night night - - why should the hours matter?? Ahhhhh  - to slaves it does - - -

That is abuse - - and what it does for you and what it takes from me - -

As I see - - those that rule over me no knowledge they seek - - only greed and to enslave - - my mind from me to see - -