To Have To Learn About Monsters, the hard way

You abused me dave, degraded me dave, raped me dave as to how it was not sex not love not a relationship,, it was only abuse and by you -

your a horrible thing to be what you are dave - - to put no value on others lives because you want to dittle theirs., you have no honor no shame of the things you did -- and for why? -- so you can beat up on a girl? take her from her? how FCK YOU.

and because I am not a monster as you -- I could not see as to you - 

how you call it what you want - 

how it is - 

you stole my life -- 

you had no rights to -- just because you can't be of worth.

I loved me, even if I was blind to see.

 

I almost killed myself
And you would not have even ,, blinked. Only
Hoping.
How you probably had even a day ,, all picked out ,.
What where the odds ,, if you won.
-
How it was my life ,.. all for your ,
Fun.
- to do what you did ,, you never cared about me and in the first place,., and it is that ,, that you can’t understand,., how you will think it’s your fault it was all my fault,, that is only those as me will feel,, and you know that ,..
that is what is the count ,.. how you knew .., how it would kill me ,. To find out ,. To have to see in my own mind .., that you didn’t actually believe what you said to me .., it was all lies ,..
Every time you asked me ,.,
Do you believe me,
- the scale of a woman’s fall ,., when not understanding,., it wasn’t love and not in the first place
Again ,. We will still see it as our fault,., even again,.,
And then you have to find a more spiritually meaning for your life .,. or you’ll
die
.

It is such a cruel process,..
Healing
Or trying to ,. But because you can’t feel like you are beat ,., even again,., because you won’t get maybe,., another chance ,. To face Deathe ,., not ever knowing it was never your fault ,..
and then it is so hard to imagine,.. that you meant to do this to me ,.. it wasn’t an accident,., not for me,..

And then where you live now how you have to look, differently or how you are trying too ,. But your so scared ,., and so afraid .., is there more worse things yet to know ,., and it stalls your brain ,, in a different way ,., as you can see how it did for me ,., how it is like another trap ,. Because you have to find an answer,,
Because it is the why for your life ,.. why was it worthless  

but this whole time you where trying to find a reason ,, for why someone else made you worthless ,, and you just never can ,, find that ,, their reason as to why,,

and you get trapped again because you are so hurt and you don’t want to be ,, and you can never understand the reasons of someone else,, as to why they would hurt you so terribly 

and then you get so depressed,, even more ,, and then you can’t see ,, how your falling

And you have to always surround yourself with love ,, even if it is only of your own,, 

to try and find then ,. others. 
-

Be stronger than what is that you think you are ,, because how you must have always been,, to always want to always have smiled ,, 

sometimes it is so hard to remember when all around you you can only feel , harm. 
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My dadd made sure I couldn’t spot you
And you made sure dave I never saw you

if your character to abuse others ,, how you will, even young women that are unaware of your danger
And you dave will hold your head up while you kept mine
down

How do u not feel shame ?
but I guess that is it ,, the difference,, 

you knew better. you knew what you did was wrong ,, to me.

and how you get to be a victim,, so many times ,.. of what you did to me ,., to feel over and over .

how if you can even ever see ,, manipulation,.. 

isn’t that then the catch 22 ??

how your life then can never

,.. change,.,