We Are Only Schematicated .,, things

So when you schematic things .,. Into your brain -


how that is -

then -


., deathe -


or to your life as to how it will then be -

 seen -

as -

and through then -

your eyes -

and if your eyes are glass as mine -


how you only go round and round -


so to have anything schematicated and into your brain -

especially of a child -




we are only now - schematicated .. things -

not even ., humans ., no more -

 not even ., BEings that no one else seems to see as to how we all are !! - so incredible was it to learn , that we all are and that we are in our own time and space , living!! Alive !! Part of something so incredible that we get to ,, EXIST!

humans ., how that term, that word seems to degrading -

 -we are so much more !!


and how it is -

you know and before me to know this to understand this - 


this is what has to be .,

here - 

 -all the degradation- so those  that abuse

feel then /.no pain ,.

how it will always be those as me to feel it , to then ., try to

understand it - how we will have too,, or be left,., again 

and how it is -

you can never get this far .…,if you abuse 


why be only of -

one side or the other - there is no good or bad ,, only as to then ,, the beholder.,. but

 -if you pick both !!! - -

you get to see then -

,, with

clear eyes.

don’t judge what you don’t know, or understand, and don’t be afraid, to know, even if , scary


the schematics are lined up with the school stuff –


and then if your fahter treats you as this way –

 you will view as this –


and how each – other –

views to then also –

 -each other – as to how also they are raised 


to not know the very beginnings –

and how it is no one can –


to do this - -rape, manipulate,.,

and only still –

and how it has been must be already for so long –


nothing new –

 is here., .


and you won’t understand what you did to your own rapists minds .,

to think you can manipulate all and to always be above all –


 how that is like –

then –

we are not then –

important then at all– no life is then


as to how we are not –

 - not yet –

 -how can life be important here,, 

you see what the abuser rapist does– and not warn children they could be from a home of  ,, that is so scary as a child born into hate and that had , none of it’s own  ….why do you not warn children they could be from a home of?? Why are are child’s rights , last ,., if ever,.

 -if you can understand as to understand then more of what then only was my life and as to how I am trying to improve  it –

even though my words are hard to write-


 but to understand then we all could have had the best of our own thoughts and imagination !!

lol – right as to how we all could be empowering our  minds and all together as to –

then why are then we all even then here?

as to what ?

lie and steal and rape ?

it seems so pointless ??

as to what then only then are we –


but if we are so powerful as one mind as even to our own brain as to have –!

how you think only of hate as to how to use that –

 -how it is so much shame –


but how you know – you can never then get past –


place –

what is then . here –


remains –


to try again .,

not ., you get to repeat your heaven ., if you see here as –

  -and just as to how I can only see it as my hell when it is you see it then as your ., heaven if it is you wanting to abuse me - -–

,., only then we ,.. living on a side…

 - it must be then we have to then learn to see ,, our own self as for  , real  , as to whatever then is here,, is not then what then is the most important thing then to see , to learn , from, ,.,,

we are all so much more !! - - told only less-

 -to be then –


less. , .

and it is for all of us –

how no one –

is free from this to their brain –


 to live as we do this way ., how you know the schematics are true


no one can be a ruler –

how no one can be –


only –



rule to rule –

 so no others see –

 as to then –

 you could be then –

 something then ., just else –

 - and than only –


how one that understands as to what is here or me as to trying too - -

how can you not be – more of what is you–

to follow –only

suit –


how you know –

 - that is not me ., I do not want to be what only my dadd had in store for me,,  and how it is ,,, only all will only see as is



 why is all what we do minimized??

as to us then to , feel.


I am here trying to understand-because it is all new to me ,, to think as to have to know that people are first as not as they seem,,

but how I was never taught how to read people,, how now I have to learn how to,, and how I will make mistakes,, but it is at the same time I did not,, not if I learned something new!! Although to you, you will not care..
how I will only be able to learn and by trial and error,, ,, so to get angry about that,, how come I am then the child,..,

.. but it isn’t about doing the right things here,.,

not for

egos .,.

.,.  How it really does hurt. .,,

when you have to say you made a mistake,., or have to realize, what was , is  .,.you

but it is like too,, if you don’t,.,

then you stay where only then .., you are , now.,.

as to how you missed the opportunity to learn more about you.,

and maybe that is all that is only here ,..

Opportunity for only the self to feel to feel as to that it has learned .,.

Even if the things learned, are scary. 

it is weird .,. I guess how can you expect anyone else to care about you and give you respect,. because it is not all for one ., right ,., it is all separate families trying to take care of their own., 

Everyone too is fighting for their families lives ,,..!!! Everyone trying also to exist as best they can !!! It is so cool !!

and you don’t ever understand that .,, 

because it then explains then more about then ., 

everyone as together and separate !!

How everyone is trying to not end up like me !! Lol but not funny for me., 

it is me still behind the game to learn 

what is here .,.


 it is even more amazing really !!!

how it is so incredible!!!

everyone living in their own moments in time but a time too that we all share!!

That is so cool !!

the only thing I ever learned .,. Was nothing of value. 
so i do apologize.,, for my weird learning! 

I still don’t understand then., 

why lie??? or pretend ???

Isn’t that counter effective???

like it really seems like it does.,.

it seems like people are afraid to have a real??? with other people??

why pretend to be my friend when you are not?? I can’t understand that,, I can’t pretend, to be ,, why would I waste both our time?? There are other things to do., I just don’t understand the why bother when you could be having real moments with family friends!!  Why pretend ?

it is the hardest thing for someone like me , to have to learn ., and on my own I am trying .,

 But it’s funny.,. You will know this of me already ., and how 

will you 

judge me  or use it to hurt me even more

,, instead of seeing me as a human ., not your trash to treat as you want …

I am a stranger to you ., how it seems strangers then should treat then with respect  .,  see me as a child victim trying to be brave not one that is already abused so you can abuse more.


everyone should be having so much fun living !! why have any room for hate!!

All the thoughts of all the people that are here !! How that should be filling the air !!

why want fake ,.. when there is real!!  

and that is what some people are doing!!! and in their !! Own way !!

it is so cool!!!  it is to see that!! How inspiring!!

 So what if all is what it is ,., 

what about the rest that is not !! right !!

that is where you focus on !!! 
it is so hard to get to see 

but wow,,. So worth it ,.  


Im sorry there are those that want to hurt children,.,

I beg,., please don’t.
life should be given to each of us as to our own rights .,,

to me ., it seems to have more fun with everyone on the same understanding.,. Or how it is then .,.

you can take advantage then of someone so fast. 
and I am cute.,. I am fun .,,, you didn’t have to hurt me. 

but it seems like that then is 

who am I to say anything about anything. But if you hurt your child like my rapist dadd did to me ., your child will feel .,. Such , agony. And I understand that then is part of it for you to have also to enjoy,., 

but it seems like such a waste to even do. 
When there is literally how many other things !! 
right ?

it just seems ,. Low ball. To make


You always new who you were ,., 

me ,. Not only and then you are judged then .,, all over again.,, instead of even helped. 
and I get it .,. Everyone has their own shit to deal with,., 

but isn’t there a limit ,.. on rape and of any one’s mind??? 
Beings that we are and it is so easy to manipulate,.  Would you not want safety for that??
 it is really hard to understand why it is not illegal to manipulate rather than how you have to learn ,, others 

do ,.. 

shows ,. How far behind ,.. I am. As to what is here ,..

but how I am not ,., for seeing what should be. 

should we not be then more ? Of at least something one way or another as to how long humans have been around,, it seems like we haven’t gotten very far,., and I know me ., yes ,, 

but ,.., how come we all are not more intelligent then what then ,., is only seen. 
right,, if you can play families as to make them behave as dogs do ,., 

should we have not also learned about also to then , the opposite,. Or 




I just want to be the me that is trying to learn to see ,,. Without judgment 

as to how you all got that chance to learn what is you,., 

me., I just have more garbage to get through. And to judge me for that when you know the reasons why,,, shows only that. 

If you never see how your home is fake- how you never see - how the world is ,.,

it was me
Segregated  at
to never see
but I guess
I wasn’t supposed to ever
try and even
only shut up .,,
.,,and BE
it’s not your pain you have to get through 
it is from those that was done to you
If those want to hurt you ,
they will , even at birth ,
you have to see their will.
Or you,,
never get to see,,
of yours,
When you can’t see the world
But the world sees you as to abuse and degrade
And then you learn .,
- was it better to have learned
when now the world now shames you for seeing now the shame